[ she takes her hand. the affection never left, though it did get a little buried by the embarrassment. but that's gone now. ]
Just tell me if it's too much.
[ she adjusts the book on her lap. ] We can read together. I want to know how a boar can be a princess. Human anatomy can wait... I don't think it's going to change that much between now and tomorrow.
[she settles easily against nahri, and there's a muted sense of... warmth.]
I had never read this before, but it is from an author in Mondstadt. I think the boars can speak. [she shows her the page before.] In the myths of ages past, every living being in this world had its own kingdom. Mondstadt was a forest in that age, a playground of the boars. In the forest was the Boar Kingdom, where everybody lived happily under the reign of the Boar King. The King had a lovely young daughter, who had the prettiest snout, the whitest tusks, and the smoothest fur in the whole kingdom. The Boar Princess, beautiful and kind, gave the juiciest and sweetest fruits to her subjects every day. From sweet and sour berries, to crisp apples, to delicious tree mushrooms, the Boar Princess always shared her delicacies first with her friends. Every boar in the kingdom adored their King and Princess, and every day they praised them so: "Oink, oink! Bless our King! As long as he reigns over us, we will never starve!" "Oink, oink, Bless the gentle Anemo Archon for giving our King such a kind and polite Princess!"
[a pause.] But I think that it is not just a story about boars.
[please assume that all emotions coming from shenhe are like the la croix of emotions unless stated otherwise
there's more of that warmth, and a touch of affection.]
I assume boars will want something different than a wolf, yes. [very seriously.]
The pup was a carefree child who had bright blue eyes and slick gray fur. When he got angry, he looked exactly like the wolf head relief atop the Mondstadt Cathedral. But one day, when he was hunting in the forest, he ran into the evil squirrel sorcerer Woobakwa! Of all the beings in the ancient world, none were more evil than Woobakwa — not even demons and dragons. Woobakwa despised everything nice, and swore to transform beauty into ugliness and turn light into dark. At the sight of the joyful wolf, anger boiled inside him. He cursed: "Squeak! Squeak! Angry am I! I shall spike his heart with the coldest ice, and he will never again know the meaning of hope!" With that said, Woobakwa began to curse the pup with his magic. But the rash pup gobbled him up, just like that, without the slightest warning. Woobakwa was so furious that he cursed the pup using the most foul and insulting words ever uttered by a squirrel. The pup felt the noise coming from his mouth, and only then did he realize his mistake. "Aroo, I'm so sorry, mister squirrel, I thought you were edible!" The pup wished to apologize to the squirrel, but he felt his throat tighten and then loosen. The squirrel slid down to his stomach with a gulp.
Agreed. [she shifts a little closer.] No one knew just what chemical reaction occurred in the pup's stomach, but Woobakwa's curse magically came into effect! Because of the curse, the pup's heart was pierced and frozen by an icicle. The pup became cold and mean forever after, and whenever other animals showed kindness to him, he would repay them with the harshest of words or the most woeful of deeds. In the end, every animal loathed him. From then on, every wolf in the forest spoke of the pup in this way: "Woof, what a selfish wolf he is! Such an obnoxious kid." "Woof, woof, what a heartless wolf he is! Let us stay away from him." One by one, the pup lost all his friends. The forest welcomed the lonely pup no more, so he had no choice but to head north. The blizzards that blew in the northern tundra kept most creatures away. But with his heart already frozen solid, the pup was no longer afraid of the cold. He decided to settle down there, and became the lone wolf that roamed the tundra.
[her emotions are doing like... little twirls of sad-empathy, here.]
[ lacroix-ified emotions don't matter, nahri can sense something here. she reaches around shenhe to gently rub her arm. ]
Do you want to stop?
[ she's quiet, and her emotions are more concerned than anything else. the affection is always there, it just changes to tie in to whatever else she's feeling. she knows she doesn't need to make commentary on this part of the story. ]
[she's comforted by this - that nahri knows why it'd make her sad makes her feel a little less that way.]
No, I don't think so. I'd like to see how it ends. One day, the Boar Princess heard about the pup and was deeply saddened by his story. So she asked her people about how to defrost his heart and turn him back to his former sweet self. She asked and asked, but only the wise fox and the elderly turtle knew the answer: "Ack-ack-ack! Only sincerity and fire could melt such evil ice. Ack-ack-ack!" The fox replied. "Friendship demands sacrifice. No friendships come without sacrifices. I apologize for not knowing how to make funny sounds," the trustworthy Grandpa Turtle said. The clever Boar Princess knew right away what she had to do. She dried her tears and curtsied to the two wise animals: "Oink oink! Thank you! I would like you to go see the pup with me, so you could be the first to witness our friendship!" When the fox and the turtle heard the Boar Princess was willing to invite them on a royal trip, their hearts were full of joy. They set out with the Princess and headed north.
[the next part is mostly prose and is long and i'm not going to make you read all of it, but - the gist of it is that the north is very, very cold, and very uninhabitable. nobody ever comes there, and there's no life, except for the wolf. the princess boar continues looking for the wolf, even though the fox and the turtle tell her that she should turn back, and that she should give up. she refuses, even when they come across a storm.
and then they find a spirit, who tells them that it will guide them through the mountain, but in exchange it will sap the princess's energy. the further into the storm, the hungrier and more exhausted she'll become. she makes this deal without asking the fox and turtle, and then they continue...
shenhe taps the page.]
... There's only one part left. [she doesn't question what nahri is feeling, quite yet. but. she does turn the page.]
After venturing through the bitter cold and the swirling storms, the Boar Princess finally met the pup. The pup was covered in ice. His once bright blue eyes had grown dim, and he had all but forgotten how to bark. "Aroo! You have come at the right moment, for I haven't had lunch yet!" Hearing his words, the kind Boar Princess could not help but shed tears. Her warm tears seemed to melt a little of the ice at the tip of the pup's heart. "Aroo! Why are you crying?" "Oink, oink! You are going to starve out here — I have never seen such misery in my kingdom!" "I will sacrifice everything to feed your hungry belly!" The pup was stupefied by her words. "Arooooooo! Miss, you must be mad! No one has ever dared say such things to me!" But when the pup saw the determination in her eyes, his frozen heart melted some more. "Nope! That's why... I will sacrifice two of the wisest and most caring members of my family just to feed you! It is for the sake of our friendship!" The fox knew what horror she meant and attempted to run, but he was pinned to the ground by the pup and the Boar Princess. Grandpa Turtle was so frightened by the sight that he retreated into his shell. The pup and the Boar Princess enjoyed a delicious appetizer of fox out in the snow. Next, they found a cave, picked a few mushrooms, built a fire with some moss, and treated themselves to a tasty turtle soup. The pup felt the delight of sharing and making friends for the first time he could remember. His frozen heart melted completely, and he shed tears of joy. The Princess took the pup by his paw, and the two merrily returned to their home.
[there are a lot of conflicting emotions going on here. sacrificing other people for someone you care about, huh. shenhe is quiet, with tinge of loneliness, and then resignation, and then void.
and a deep breath.]
Yes, I suppose so. [...] What do you think of it? Mondstadt is... interesting.
I think it accurately reflects how authoritative power structures will exploit others for their own advantage.
[ she is filled with a roiling bitterness. but she starts to gently rub her arm again, almost automatic - maybe trying to soothe herself just as much as shenhe, too. ]
[ she's quiet, her emotions easing up, but there's a buzzing anxiety and sadness trying to claw through. ]
I started the negotiations. I have to get married [ annoyed ] so I picked the best choice for myself. I'm going to get the best dowry and status from it. I'm already being spied on anyway and can't do anything on my own, and my husband isn't going to want anything to do with me, so might as well get what I can out of the arrangement.
What, the dowry? Use it to buy whatever I want and lounge around the palace, I suppose. [ shame creeps up, because they both know she's avoiding what she is really asking.
she interlaces her fingers with shenhe's. fidgeting, anxious. ]
Maybe I'll be able to take the throne back from my ancestral enemy that I have, apparently. Leverage connections so other people can stop dying in squalor. Do something other than stay in the infirmary where the king wants to make a fool of me and take away more of my power. I don't know.
[she doesn't believe the first answer, which is fine because nahri continues.
the anger eases, when nahri laces their fingers together. slowly, but it does.]
This doesn't surprise me. [she says, glancing at nahri before looking down at the book.] You would not marry into something to make it worse. Already you're trying to find a way to make things better for people.
[ it's just. a lot to unpack. it goes back to her always saying later and avoiding things - which, she is surprised by the abruptness in which shenhe speaks, but is grateful for the change in subject. ]
[ and just like that, she can put her own feelings aside to make room for the soft warmth and affection that were there before. it feels like it's blooming out of her chest.
she reaches up to gently brush some of shenhe's bangs aside. ]
Oh, Shenhe... No one is expecting you to be perfect. [ she rests her hand lightly on the side of her face. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Just tell me if it's too much.
[ she adjusts the book on her lap. ] We can read together. I want to know how a boar can be a princess. Human anatomy can wait... I don't think it's going to change that much between now and tomorrow.
no subject
[she settles easily against nahri, and there's a muted sense of... warmth.]
I had never read this before, but it is from an author in Mondstadt. I think the boars can speak. [she shows her the page before.]
In the myths of ages past, every living being in this world had its own kingdom.
Mondstadt was a forest in that age, a playground of the boars.
In the forest was the Boar Kingdom, where everybody lived happily under the reign of the Boar King.
The King had a lovely young daughter, who had the prettiest snout, the whitest tusks, and the smoothest fur in the whole kingdom.
The Boar Princess, beautiful and kind, gave the juiciest and sweetest fruits to her subjects every day.
From sweet and sour berries, to crisp apples, to delicious tree mushrooms, the Boar Princess always shared her delicacies first with her friends.
Every boar in the kingdom adored their King and Princess, and every day they praised them so:
"Oink, oink! Bless our King! As long as he reigns over us, we will never starve!"
"Oink, oink, Bless the gentle Anemo Archon for giving our King such a kind and polite Princess!"
[a pause.] But I think that it is not just a story about boars.
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Well, no, we haven't even gotten to the tundra part yet. [ teasing ]
...But it's not really that easy running a kingdom either, I think. Different animals are going to want different things...
[ that is also not the point of the story but ok ]
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there's more of that warmth, and a touch of affection.]
I assume boars will want something different than a wolf, yes. [very seriously.]
The pup was a carefree child who had bright blue eyes and slick gray fur.
When he got angry, he looked exactly like the wolf head relief atop the Mondstadt Cathedral.
But one day, when he was hunting in the forest, he ran into the evil squirrel sorcerer Woobakwa!
Of all the beings in the ancient world, none were more evil than Woobakwa — not even demons and dragons. Woobakwa despised everything nice, and swore to transform beauty into ugliness and turn light into dark.
At the sight of the joyful wolf, anger boiled inside him. He cursed:
"Squeak! Squeak! Angry am I! I shall spike his heart with the coldest ice, and he will never again know the meaning of hope!"
With that said, Woobakwa began to curse the pup with his magic.
But the rash pup gobbled him up, just like that, without the slightest warning.
Woobakwa was so furious that he cursed the pup using the most foul and insulting words ever uttered by a squirrel. The pup felt the noise coming from his mouth, and only then did he realize his mistake.
"Aroo, I'm so sorry, mister squirrel, I thought you were edible!"
The pup wished to apologize to the squirrel, but he felt his throat tighten and then loosen. The squirrel slid down to his stomach with a gulp.
[shenhe pauses.]
The squirrels are evil.
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The wolf shouldn't even apologize for eating him if he's evil. He did the world a great service.
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No one knew just what chemical reaction occurred in the pup's stomach, but Woobakwa's curse magically came into effect!
Because of the curse, the pup's heart was pierced and frozen by an icicle. The pup became cold and mean forever after, and whenever other animals showed kindness to him, he would repay them with the harshest of words or the most woeful of deeds. In the end, every animal loathed him.
From then on, every wolf in the forest spoke of the pup in this way:
"Woof, what a selfish wolf he is! Such an obnoxious kid."
"Woof, woof, what a heartless wolf he is! Let us stay away from him."
One by one, the pup lost all his friends. The forest welcomed the lonely pup no more, so he had no choice but to head north.
The blizzards that blew in the northern tundra kept most creatures away. But with his heart already frozen solid, the pup was no longer afraid of the cold.
He decided to settle down there, and became the lone wolf that roamed the tundra.
[her emotions are doing like... little twirls of sad-empathy, here.]
no subject
Do you want to stop?
[ she's quiet, and her emotions are more concerned than anything else. the affection is always there, it just changes to tie in to whatever else she's feeling. she knows she doesn't need to make commentary on this part of the story. ]
no subject
No, I don't think so. I'd like to see how it ends.
One day, the Boar Princess heard about the pup and was deeply saddened by his story.
So she asked her people about how to defrost his heart and turn him back to his former sweet self.
She asked and asked, but only the wise fox and the elderly turtle knew the answer:
"Ack-ack-ack! Only sincerity and fire could melt such evil ice. Ack-ack-ack!" The fox replied.
"Friendship demands sacrifice. No friendships come without sacrifices. I apologize for not knowing how to make funny sounds," the trustworthy Grandpa Turtle said.
The clever Boar Princess knew right away what she had to do. She dried her tears and curtsied to the two wise animals:
"Oink oink! Thank you! I would like you to go see the pup with me, so you could be the first to witness our friendship!"
When the fox and the turtle heard the Boar Princess was willing to invite them on a royal trip, their hearts were full of joy. They set out with the Princess and headed north.
[a pause.] Sincerity, fire, and sacrifice.
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I want to see how it ends too.
[ she wants to head off any questioning by shenhe. what a time to have emotions so easily detectable that other people can feel them. ]
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and then they find a spirit, who tells them that it will guide them through the mountain, but in exchange it will sap the princess's energy. the further into the storm, the hungrier and more exhausted she'll become. she makes this deal without asking the fox and turtle, and then they continue...
shenhe taps the page.]
... There's only one part left. [she doesn't question what nahri is feeling, quite yet. but. she does turn the page.]
After venturing through the bitter cold and the swirling storms, the Boar Princess finally met the pup.
The pup was covered in ice. His once bright blue eyes had grown dim, and he had all but forgotten how to bark.
"Aroo! You have come at the right moment, for I haven't had lunch yet!"
Hearing his words, the kind Boar Princess could not help but shed tears. Her warm tears seemed to melt a little of the ice at the tip of the pup's heart.
"Aroo! Why are you crying?"
"Oink, oink! You are going to starve out here — I have never seen such misery in my kingdom!"
"I will sacrifice everything to feed your hungry belly!"
The pup was stupefied by her words.
"Arooooooo! Miss, you must be mad! No one has ever dared say such things to me!"
But when the pup saw the determination in her eyes, his frozen heart melted some more.
"Nope! That's why... I will sacrifice two of the wisest and most caring members of my family just to feed you! It is for the sake of our friendship!"
The fox knew what horror she meant and attempted to run, but he was pinned to the ground by the pup and the Boar Princess.
Grandpa Turtle was so frightened by the sight that he retreated into his shell.
The pup and the Boar Princess enjoyed a delicious appetizer of fox out in the snow. Next, they found a cave, picked a few mushrooms, built a fire with some moss, and treated themselves to a tasty turtle soup.
The pup felt the delight of sharing and making friends for the first time he could remember. His frozen heart melted completely, and he shed tears of joy.
The Princess took the pup by his paw, and the two merrily returned to their home.
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I'd almost be disappointed if the ending went any other way.
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and a deep breath.]
Yes, I suppose so. [...] What do you think of it? Mondstadt is... interesting.
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[ she is filled with a roiling bitterness. but she starts to gently rub her arm again, almost automatic - maybe trying to soothe herself just as much as shenhe, too. ]
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I have no experience with that. [but.] I imagine you might.
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[ this does nothing to help the bitterness. ]
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Hm.
[die death destruction - that's actually. way stronger than anything else she's felt, unfortunately. it's muted still, but clearer.]
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It's okay, Shenhe.
[ she isn't mad. there's no following lecture this time. but she will offer an explanation: ] It's my fault.
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I doubt that. [...] Explain further.
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I started the negotiations. I have to get married [ annoyed ] so I picked the best choice for myself. I'm going to get the best dowry and status from it. I'm already being spied on anyway and can't do anything on my own, and my husband isn't going to want anything to do with me, so might as well get what I can out of the arrangement.
[ now she's just angry and sad. ]
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What will you do with that?
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she interlaces her fingers with shenhe's. fidgeting, anxious. ]
Maybe I'll be able to take the throne back from my ancestral enemy that I have, apparently. Leverage connections so other people can stop dying in squalor. Do something other than stay in the infirmary where the king wants to make a fool of me and take away more of my power. I don't know.
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the anger eases, when nahri laces their fingers together. slowly, but it does.]
This doesn't surprise me. [she says, glancing at nahri before looking down at the book.] You would not marry into something to make it worse. Already you're trying to find a way to make things better for people.
[and then, abruptly:] I made my decision.
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[ it's just. a lot to unpack. it goes back to her always saying later and avoiding things - which, she is surprised by the abruptness in which shenhe speaks, but is grateful for the change in subject. ]
Oh? Should I brace myself for the answer?
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[her emotions waver a little.]
Like you do. Like Alex does, like Vash does, like Rin did. [...] I will falter. I am not built for it. But I will try.
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she reaches up to gently brush some of shenhe's bangs aside. ]
Oh, Shenhe... No one is expecting you to be perfect. [ she rests her hand lightly on the side of her face. ]
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