[a little nod. that... makes sense, in a way - she has important blood, an important fate, and so she has to be responsible with it. it feels so opposite of how shenhe's... existence, is, that it almost makes her sad. not because she'd like to be in nahri's place, but because she wonders if something evil can really be worth it to something divine.
she's quiet, for a moment.]
I understand. That is a heavy responsibility. [...] I still think your marriage is ridiculous. If you are important, you should be able to live as you please.
It is ridiculous. [ there's a flare of something lighter - just two girls gossiping, being normal. novelty in a sort of relationship she's never had before. ] But I'm telling you, that dowry can afford me a lot of time to do whatever I want. [ she can't really joke, when shenhe already knows the truth. ]
As I've had to find out, the more important you are, the smaller your cage gets. Can't have me getting ideas like... running away. No one cares when you're a dirty little street thief. Everyone cares when you're the last healer on earth, or whatever. Where I go, who I talk to, what I do, how I do it...
[ there's a sort of tired resignation. her emotions have leveled out, so they're not the gloomy, draining sadness. but man, it is a heavy burden and she is barely equipped to deal with it. ]
[this is like, absolutely nightmarish. the idea of having someone looking over your shoulder like that is horrendous, and shenhe feels that resignation and - well. it's not gloomy or horrible, but. it feels bad all the same.
earlier, she felt a little happier when she kissed her, earlier. there was joy, there. so - shenhe shifts, and presses a kiss, chaste and gentle, to the corner of nahri's mouth.]
Nobody is here to do that to you, right now. [she says, firmly.] So... go where you want. Talk to who you want, do what you want to do, do it how you'd like to.
[and then, like she's quoting someone:]
Eat, laugh, live a little while you still can. Nothing wrong with appreciating the outside world.
[ that cuts through the gloom. the kiss sends another crackle of happiness through her - pure, gentle, sweet. it's only further backed up by those words. it's not criticism, chastisement, or some grim reminder that it doesn't matter how she feels or what she wants, she's just an avatar to shuffle around - no.
she isn't.
this place hasn't grown on her all that much. it's still hell to be in. she still struggles with how far behind she is in understanding even basic concepts that seem to come easier to everyone else. she hates having to abide by the rules. but the people she's grown quite fond of. she adores her team. she appreciates how she can go for a walk without having to worry about being shuffled off to some important political function or spied on. she can talk to others without worry of her words being reported and used against her. as much as she loathes to consider it, she has been able to relax here. but again, that's only possible because of the company that's trapped here too.
she turns a little pink, between the kiss and the words and her brief rumination on those same words. her heart flutters, and her feelings along with it. ]
Thank you, Shenhe. I will.
[ there's resolve there, now. ]
And I want to appreciate what I have right here, too.
[ she lays her head on shenhe's shoulder - which, they were already pretty smushed together, but she still manages to cuddle up even more. ]
[hoooo boy, all those emotions make shenhe's heart thud in her ears again. she has to just like, let that happen for a minute, to sit with them. it's a lot and she's not used to it, but she doesn't hate it. in fact, she far from hates it. there's something warm and relieved in her.
she's never been treated like this before. as someone to be appreciated, as someone who isn't so different that this is out of her reach. for a second, there's the briefest heat behind her eyes, and then it's gone. the briefest sensation of overwhelmed.
it's a little bit of an emotional workout. shenhe exhales, and when nahri rests her head on her shoulder, she just wraps an arm around her and rests her head on top of nahri's, closing her eyes.
she doesn't say anything, but she holds nahri close, because she thinks that speaks a little louder than words.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
she's quiet, for a moment.]
I understand. That is a heavy responsibility. [...] I still think your marriage is ridiculous. If you are important, you should be able to live as you please.
no subject
As I've had to find out, the more important you are, the smaller your cage gets. Can't have me getting ideas like... running away. No one cares when you're a dirty little street thief. Everyone cares when you're the last healer on earth, or whatever. Where I go, who I talk to, what I do, how I do it...
[ there's a sort of tired resignation. her emotions have leveled out, so they're not the gloomy, draining sadness. but man, it is a heavy burden and she is barely equipped to deal with it. ]
no subject
earlier, she felt a little happier when she kissed her, earlier. there was joy, there. so - shenhe shifts, and presses a kiss, chaste and gentle, to the corner of nahri's mouth.]
Nobody is here to do that to you, right now. [she says, firmly.] So... go where you want. Talk to who you want, do what you want to do, do it how you'd like to.
[and then, like she's quoting someone:]
Eat, laugh, live a little while you still can. Nothing wrong with appreciating the outside world.
no subject
she isn't.
this place hasn't grown on her all that much. it's still hell to be in. she still struggles with how far behind she is in understanding even basic concepts that seem to come easier to everyone else. she hates having to abide by the rules. but the people she's grown quite fond of. she adores her team. she appreciates how she can go for a walk without having to worry about being shuffled off to some important political function or spied on. she can talk to others without worry of her words being reported and used against her. as much as she loathes to consider it, she has been able to relax here. but again, that's only possible because of the company that's trapped here too.
she turns a little pink, between the kiss and the words and her brief rumination on those same words. her heart flutters, and her feelings along with it. ]
Thank you, Shenhe. I will.
[ there's resolve there, now. ]
And I want to appreciate what I have right here, too.
[ she lays her head on shenhe's shoulder - which, they were already pretty smushed together, but she still manages to cuddle up even more. ]
no subject
she's never been treated like this before. as someone to be appreciated, as someone who isn't so different that this is out of her reach. for a second, there's the briefest heat behind her eyes, and then it's gone. the briefest sensation of overwhelmed.
it's a little bit of an emotional workout. shenhe exhales, and when nahri rests her head on her shoulder, she just wraps an arm around her and rests her head on top of nahri's, closing her eyes.
she doesn't say anything, but she holds nahri close, because she thinks that speaks a little louder than words.]