homophonic ❆ jonas

[bindings]

jonas

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[bindings]

[a little nod.]

I have experienced a lot. [...] I decided that I wasn't going to wear my ropes when I died. So far, I have been okay. Sometimes I still feel violent, but it has been easier and easier to control.

[she glances at him.] Did you have people helping you? Your letters to me made it seem like you didn't always, and I was angry about it.

[she may have gotten herself in trouble because of it but it's fine she doesn't regret that.]

[westedge]

[ he looks a little relieved to hear that. ]

I was wondering. I...noticed they were gone, but I wasn't sure how to ask. But that's good. That's great, actually...being able to learn to control it is good progress. [ he's proud, to say the least. ] I think it's easier with time to learn when it's okay to be angry and how to manage it.

[ but...ah. um... ]

...it's fine. A lot of that was me not asking and not wanting to ask because there were too many other things happening, you know? My team and I had each other. That was important. [ until all of the stuff about certain members of his team kept circulating and all of the things about livio hit, at least. ]

[bindings]

[she watches him for a moment, as he dodges here and there, and then:]

You can be honest with me about how you felt, Jonas. But if you'd rather not talk through it, I understand.

[westedge]

It's not that. [ not really. jonas can address his feelings fine, usually, but. ] I don't know. I just don't think it's fair to put this kind of stuff on other people in this situation because everybody's struggling. I shouldn't have to make sure people are helping me when I want to help people instead.

[bindings]

I'm not. [she says, with a tilt of her head.] Struggling, I mean.

Being here has been very good for me, actually. I think that all of the living suffered far more than I did. [she kind of feels bad saying this but like. eh. you know.] The only thing I am angry about now is Wolfwood being annoyed with me because I sent Livio a mean message.

[westedge]

[ there's a soft snort because yeah, the living sure are having a Time. he does not disagree.

but he does tilt his head a little at that before he gets too far. he'll revisit the rest in a moment. ]

...what did you say to Livio?

[bindings]

I told him that he should let my team kill him. But I did not sign it and he did not know who sent it.

[so. it was kind of mean, but she was kind of mad.]

[westedge]

Ah. Yeah, he mentioned that someone wanted their team to kill him. Know that it was you, I'm less surprised nothing came of it. Wolfwood or Vash wouldn't go for it though.

[bindings]

[she looks annoyed.]

No. They wouldn't. [and a distant thought: If he had killed me, they would have let him go. They let Gerard go, too.]

[westedge]

...are you upset about that? [ obviously she is, but he does want to let her talk about that a bit. ]

[bindings]

[a pause.]

Yes. Not as much as I was. [...] It was necessary. But I wasn't sad to see Gerard be executed.

[westedge]

I can understand that. I'm pretty sure Simon would have loved to know I'd been caught for what we did to him. [ he is worried about setsu, of course. ] The necessities of this game have been pretty messed up when you think about it. It's a game that asks us to put a value on people's lives and which deaths are most important.

[bindings]

Yes. It is. And it's stupid. [so there]

Simon hates Froggystyle more than he hates all of you, you know.

[westedge]

[ there's a huff at that because that's very. shenhe. ]

Why, because they framed him for what happened to Lambda? I feel like he doesn't have a leg to stand on since he then turned around and killed his own teammate.

[bindings]

[a nod.]

... I won't tell you to be nice to him. [because he does suck. but also that's her blorbo, unfortunately.] I think he'd be mad at me if I did, actually.

[westedge]

[ i'm. sorry? help. ]

I don't really have anything to say to him. So that won't be a problem.

[bindings]

[GAZES INTO THE DISTANCE sometimes you same hat]

Anyway. Yes. Because of the framing. [a little shrug.] I don't really understand why the ice was there.

[westedge]

I'll be honest. I don't understand most of how these murders happened, and I'm not sure if I want to. Maybe it was specifically to frame Simon and throw them off. Maybe it was convenient. I know for a while some of us weren't sure if it was yours or not, too. That whole trial was a mess.

[bindings]

... I can tell you what happened with mine, I don't mind. But I won't if you don't want to know.

I was nowhere near Lambda that night, at the very least. I was surprised to see her when I woke up.

[westedge]

[ he takes a moment to stare into space, wondering if he wants to hear the details of how one friend was brutally killed by another friend. ]

...if you want to talk about it because it still bothers you, I'm happy to listen. I know it can be...hard, really, to cope with things like this when you're still trying to process how it all went down and why it had to happen. You and Lambda dying was the first time we ever had more than one victim, too.

[bindings]

It doesn't bother me. Or - well. The fact that I lost bothers me.

[she's so fuckin' mad she lost to a frog who doesn't even know how to use a sword properly

but like, emotionally, she's kind of fine with how it happened. she's never been afraid of death, and she's had a bit to get over the worst of it. anything that still remains is less bad than it was, because she's been able to talk to her team. a pause, as she watches him, and then maybe a bit abruptly:]

I think that you are trying very hard to take care of me when I'd rather take care of you.

[westedge]

I can see that. [ if he were a good fighter he, too, might be angry about losing to a frog.

the abrupt shift startles him, visibly so, and he blinks for a few moments. ]

...I think that is probably just second nature? [ why is that a question. ] Sorry. Um. Alex kind of got on my case about that too recently.

[bindings]

You should listen to her. She is smart.

[huff.]

If there's anything that I have learned while being dead, constantly helping others without helping yourself leads to violent outbursts and setting things on fire.

[ok well maybe that's just you but]

[westedge]

She is smart. [ the look on his face is slightly softer, but also slightly annoyed. ] Even if she's not always great at listening to certain things.

[ but...that gets him to laugh a little. ]

I don't know if I'm quite there yet, especially since I don't have access to Pyro. But I get what you're saying. Bottling stuff isn't great. I know that.

[ then why do you do it, jonas. ]

...I don't know where to start, I guess.

[bindings]

[she tilts her head at him like she's asking him the same question, but he says he's not sure where to start, and she settles a little closer. she can't touch him, but she still wants to be close.]

Do you want to talk about how you felt in your letters? I know that isn't easy, when it's face to face.