Oh. I left the treasure chest, and went to help Ylfa fight a man in the walls. And then I carried Fei Du home, Kaveh told me that I was cursed, and I argued with him for a while. I reminded Vash that I care about him.
You did? [tilts her head a little. she's curious - she's realized that she doesn't know a whole lot about a lot of people, here, despite enjoying their company greatly.]
Not in terms of personality. He fell somewhere between you and Wolfwood, I think. But he was always dodgy about his past. [ her expression drops a bit ] He did some pretty awful things. He went through some pretty awful things, too.
[she leans a little so she can take nahri's hand.]
... I understand, too, why someone wouldn't want to. [a pause.] I've found that when awful things happen to a person, it's hard for them to not resort to awful things, themselves.
[ she takes a deep breath. this is fine. things are fine. ]
It's complicated.
[ it isn't, but she needs to buy herself a few seconds of time to figure out how she wants to address this instead of having flashbacks while staring at the milkshake. ]
He was complicated... but I still loved him... but he's dead now, so. I don't know.
[ her words get quieter until she's virtually mumbling. she's still hung up on him, and really, shenhe saying she will remember is sweet. nahri wants people to remember - his name, what he did, who he was, anything. but it's insecurity week and there is just not enough time in the day to unpack all this. ]
You don't need to know. [she says - like, at least she doesn't seem to mind or get upset that she loved or loves someone. it's part of the way most people live. she understands that it's complicated, though she isn't quite sure how to talk about it. she's never really experienced loving someone and losing them, in any form.
a pause.]
Hm. I was going to tell you something about me in exchange, but it's... not happy. I don't want to upset you, especially since it doesn't upset me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Of course. Should I not be? [the mini-event was kind of fun honestly she likes fighting monsters and babysitting
she was babysitting the grown-ass men, to be clear. not ylfa.]
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[ she knows shenhe is capable (and ylfa, to be clear) but she was still worried. alas, her actual canon fear of corpses. ]
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And then it wore off.
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--And I can expect Vash to still be in one piece when we go back to the warehouse later?
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... And Vash is fine, for now. [nyeh]
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anyway. they need to go get a miwkshake. ]
...Thank you for sparing Vash.
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[gross. anyway, she'll go with her to get milkshake!! she likes literally all of them so.]
Vash is temporarily spared until he hates himself less.
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Hm, I don't know, you might end up permanently sparing him then.
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Idiot. [this is affectionate, though.] I don't understand what there is to hate.
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[ how can she say this so casually while ordering a milkshake ]
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... I don't know much about his past. [she wishes she did, though. the boys are very good at dodging her.]
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He didn't share the details with me either, but he told me enough. I used to know someone like him.
[ so really she's just extrapolating but, she feels pretty confident in her assessment. ]
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kicks it away for their date]
You did? [tilts her head a little. she's curious - she's realized that she doesn't know a whole lot about a lot of people, here, despite enjoying their company greatly.]
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Not in terms of personality. He fell somewhere between you and Wolfwood, I think. But he was always dodgy about his past. [ her expression drops a bit ] He did some pretty awful things. He went through some pretty awful things, too.
So, I get why Vash doesn't want to talk about it.
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... I understand, too, why someone wouldn't want to. [a pause.] I've found that when awful things happen to a person, it's hard for them to not resort to awful things, themselves.
What was this person's name?
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[ she has to let that first part sit with her for a bit. she doesn't disagree, but her experience hasn't been quite so cut and dry on that front. ]
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[she repeats, tilting her head.]
... I will remember the name.
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[ aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ]
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Why?
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It's complicated.
[ it isn't, but she needs to buy herself a few seconds of time to figure out how she wants to address this instead of having flashbacks while staring at the milkshake. ]
He was complicated... but I still loved him... but he's dead now, so. I don't know.
[ her words get quieter until she's virtually mumbling. she's still hung up on him, and really, shenhe saying she will remember is sweet. nahri wants people to remember - his name, what he did, who he was, anything. but it's insecurity week and there is just not enough time in the day to unpack all this. ]
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You don't need to know. [she says - like, at least she doesn't seem to mind or get upset that she loved or loves someone. it's part of the way most people live. she understands that it's complicated, though she isn't quite sure how to talk about it. she's never really experienced loving someone and losing them, in any form.
a pause.]
Hm. I was going to tell you something about me in exchange, but it's... not happy. I don't want to upset you, especially since it doesn't upset me.
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[ might as well get THAT out of the way. ]
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No. I am not literally a monster.
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