[she leans a little so she can take nahri's hand.]
... I understand, too, why someone wouldn't want to. [a pause.] I've found that when awful things happen to a person, it's hard for them to not resort to awful things, themselves.
[ she takes a deep breath. this is fine. things are fine. ]
It's complicated.
[ it isn't, but she needs to buy herself a few seconds of time to figure out how she wants to address this instead of having flashbacks while staring at the milkshake. ]
He was complicated... but I still loved him... but he's dead now, so. I don't know.
[ her words get quieter until she's virtually mumbling. she's still hung up on him, and really, shenhe saying she will remember is sweet. nahri wants people to remember - his name, what he did, who he was, anything. but it's insecurity week and there is just not enough time in the day to unpack all this. ]
You don't need to know. [she says - like, at least she doesn't seem to mind or get upset that she loved or loves someone. it's part of the way most people live. she understands that it's complicated, though she isn't quite sure how to talk about it. she's never really experienced loving someone and losing them, in any form.
a pause.]
Hm. I was going to tell you something about me in exchange, but it's... not happy. I don't want to upset you, especially since it doesn't upset me.
I do. Or at least... I did. I'm not sure that I do anymore, even if it explains some of what has happened here.
... I have told you about my cursed soul. I told you about the monster I fought in the cave, as well. I don't know that I've told you why I was in that cave. That is the part I did not want to tell you, because it often makes people upset.
My mother died when I was young. Because it was foretold that I was cursed, my father assumed it was my fault. And so he brought me to that monster, and he left me there in exchange for my mother's soul.
[there's not much emotion to this. it's just a story.]
[ it is upsetting, in that way that is just horrifying and helpless. nothing to be done for something that happened decades ago. nahri takes this story in, has to let it process through her before she says anything. ]
I think that means you were fated for something else.
But I'm sorry that happened to you.
[ there is a tiny, selfish part of her that is glad, though, because otherwise they probably wouldn't have met. she feels bad for thinking this. ]
You are going to be disappointed. [this is like, mostly a joke. she can probably manage this!! it's not... that hard... it'll be more like getting a cat wearing mittens to move. her body is mostly used for fighting, hunting.
but. she takes a sip of the milkshake, and then stands up, holding out her hands. uppies.]
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... I understand, too, why someone wouldn't want to. [a pause.] I've found that when awful things happen to a person, it's hard for them to not resort to awful things, themselves.
What was this person's name?
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[ she has to let that first part sit with her for a bit. she doesn't disagree, but her experience hasn't been quite so cut and dry on that front. ]
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[she repeats, tilting her head.]
... I will remember the name.
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[ aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ]
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Why?
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It's complicated.
[ it isn't, but she needs to buy herself a few seconds of time to figure out how she wants to address this instead of having flashbacks while staring at the milkshake. ]
He was complicated... but I still loved him... but he's dead now, so. I don't know.
[ her words get quieter until she's virtually mumbling. she's still hung up on him, and really, shenhe saying she will remember is sweet. nahri wants people to remember - his name, what he did, who he was, anything. but it's insecurity week and there is just not enough time in the day to unpack all this. ]
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You don't need to know. [she says - like, at least she doesn't seem to mind or get upset that she loved or loves someone. it's part of the way most people live. she understands that it's complicated, though she isn't quite sure how to talk about it. she's never really experienced loving someone and losing them, in any form.
a pause.]
Hm. I was going to tell you something about me in exchange, but it's... not happy. I don't want to upset you, especially since it doesn't upset me.
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[ might as well get THAT out of the way. ]
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No. I am not literally a monster.
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[ she has enough of a spine to look directly at her when she says this. ]
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I do. Or at least... I did. I'm not sure that I do anymore, even if it explains some of what has happened here.
... I have told you about my cursed soul. I told you about the monster I fought in the cave, as well. I don't know that I've told you why I was in that cave. That is the part I did not want to tell you, because it often makes people upset.
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You can tell me.
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My mother died when I was young. Because it was foretold that I was cursed, my father assumed it was my fault. And so he brought me to that monster, and he left me there in exchange for my mother's soul.
[there's not much emotion to this. it's just a story.]
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I think that means you were fated for something else.
But I'm sorry that happened to you.
[ there is a tiny, selfish part of her that is glad, though, because otherwise they probably wouldn't have met. she feels bad for thinking this. ]
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Thank you. [...] It didn't work. So at the very least, he wasn't rewarded.
[and, well. it led her here. it led her to the circumstances she's in, like all decisions do.]
... A bad thing, for a bad thing. An exchange. [she says, and then:] So now - let's do a good thing, for a good thing.
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[ hm. she idly moves her hand against hers, lightly intertwining their fingers together. ]
I wonder what that looks like.
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If you have ideas, I'm open to them. [a pause.] I had one or two.
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Anything to spend more time with you. That's a good thing, right? [ hehe ] Do you want your hair braided again?
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I'd like that. [she says, tilting her head. a pause.] But I wanted to ask if you would dance with me, first?
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Oh. [ her turn to blush. ] I don't know how.
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Truthfully, I don't either. But... I don't mind learning with you.
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Back home, dancing was a social thing. Clapping, moving your hips, going along with the rhythm... I'd like to see you dance like that. [ wehehe.
and, theoretically, nahri has a sense of rhythm so she can do something like this - it's just movement!! to a beat! anyone can do that. ]
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You are going to be disappointed. [this is like, mostly a joke. she can probably manage this!! it's not... that hard... it'll be more like getting a cat wearing mittens to move. her body is mostly used for fighting, hunting.
but. she takes a sip of the milkshake, and then stands up, holding out her hands. uppies.]
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