[ shenhe's worry only makes nahri worry more. it claws unpleasantly at her chest. she continues to run her fingers through shenhe's hair. maybe as a soothing gesture for the both of them. ]
We don't have to talk about it unless you want to.
[ her voice is quiet. she almost didn't want to say that at all and ruin the silence. but she wants to make the intention clear, in case shenhe needs it. ]
[but she can't hold onto it too much, because she doesn't think it'll happen.
she doesn't know what else to say, she just. shifts, so she can wrap an arm around nahri. this feels better than the jumble of upset in her chest. and then, after a moment:]
I might need to take my ability to feel away tomorrow.
[she'll take that fondness too, it's better than the Anxiety. until she gets all her emotions shut off, she'll be giving off little pings of comfort and adoration in return.]
Alright. [...] I have a feeling I won't like the answer we find.
[well, she thinks that's ridiculous. she can't believe she's the only one, more people should tell her?? there's a little bit of hmph sound that she makes.]
I hope that I can give something back. [she says, after a moment. because... yeah. she's never had this sort of outlet or support, and it's all brand new, but it just makes her even more desperate to balance it.]
I have your company. [ this is easing away the more anxious, unpleasant feelings into something warmer. softer. the general overhang of sadness probably won't go away entirely, given the circumstances, but it's nice to have a distraction. it's nice to not feel like she has to dwell on them. ]
I have your promise to protect me. And you've listened to me cry more than anyone else here. [ this shouldn't be a joke and - really, it isn't - but she doesn't know how to articulate her own lack of support until coming here. ]
[there's a little bit of amusement, at that, as she starts to relax. it's still sad and everything still sucks, but finding small moments of peace is a relief.]
I will do that as many times as you need me to. [she says, absently petting at nahri's side.] I'm glad and surprised to know my company is sufficient.
[it rarely has been before - they've both never been told things like this and had the other person mean them, apparently.]
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We don't have to talk about it unless you want to.
[ her voice is quiet. she almost didn't want to say that at all and ruin the silence. but she wants to make the intention clear, in case shenhe needs it. ]
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... The only thing keeping Matsui here was Buzen. [she says, finally, closing her eyes.] If he goes, Rang does as well.
[she almost doesn't even know what to talk about, really, because it's out of her control. she's scared to lose them both in one go.]
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Maybe they could join different teams. Give themselves a stronger chance.
[ there isn't a lot of conviction behind her words, because she has no idea if they can even do that. ]
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[but she can't hold onto it too much, because she doesn't think it'll happen.
she doesn't know what else to say, she just. shifts, so she can wrap an arm around nahri. this feels better than the jumble of upset in her chest. and then, after a moment:]
I might need to take my ability to feel away tomorrow.
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Do you want me to do it?
[ if this will help her, she isn't going to question it. ]
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I wouldn't mind. [she trusts her to do it.]
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[ she presses a light kiss to the top of her head. ]
Twenty-four hours should be enough?
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Come here.
[ she's already "here" but all the same, nahri pulls her close for a hug. ]
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We're going to give it our all tomorrow, okay?
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Alright. [...] I have a feeling I won't like the answer we find.
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I think we never will.
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she curls her fingers into the back of nahri's clothes.]
... You are comforting, to me. [just so that she knows.]
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You're the first person who has said something like that to me. [ a beat. ] And meant it.
I'm happy that I can give that to you.
[ as she suspects that shenhe needs this kind of support, this kind of outlet, as well. ]
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I hope that I can give something back. [she says, after a moment. because... yeah. she's never had this sort of outlet or support, and it's all brand new, but it just makes her even more desperate to balance it.]
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I have your promise to protect me. And you've listened to me cry more than anyone else here. [ this shouldn't be a joke and - really, it isn't - but she doesn't know how to articulate her own lack of support until coming here. ]
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I will do that as many times as you need me to. [she says, absently petting at nahri's side.] I'm glad and surprised to know my company is sufficient.
[it rarely has been before - they've both never been told things like this and had the other person mean them, apparently.]