she has a little bit of a hard time showing it as usual, but she missed! nature! which is why she immediately crosses over into the grass and puts her hands on one of the trees, the faintest bit of a smile on her face.]
[it does - it actually startles her a little, because she hasn't felt the urge to reach for people all morning. but nahri is safe, and so carefully, shenhe brushes her fingers against nahri's. maybe a little nervously, like she wants to, but isn't sure.]
Yes. [...] Walk with me. I'd like to see how far it goes.
[ nahri is not always touchy, but she isn't adverse either. this time there's something making her a little on edge. despite that, she takes shenhe's hand before she can pull it away. ]
It's a pretty big place. We could get lost.
[ her tone is ambiguous. but she starts to walk. ]
[ she's been good at dodging further questions about home. it's not something she prefers to dwell on or bring attention to, but this time she mulls her answer around for a moment before answering. ]
I'm just homesick. [ hm. ]
I suppose I shouldn't be. I have my own infirmary, my own patients, I live in a palace... or I did, before-- [ she died. she shakes that thought away. ] There's a lot going on. A lot I'll have to return to, if we win.
[win, she means. she intends to keep that promise.]
You live in a palace and are to be married to a man who I am not allowed to kill. [if you didn't know any better you might hear some annoyance in her tone...] Do you enjoy healing people, Nahri? Is it something that makes you happy?
Oh, Shenhe. [ she gently squeezes her hand. they're two stubborn forces in opposing directions. to nahri's credit, she isn't on the verge of tears this time. she understands her position and is being realistic about it. ]
No one else sees it that way. It's what the king wants, or what my people want, or what- what's expected of me.
[ believe her, it's not that she doesn't want to. in fact, she would really, really like if her attempts to do so were recognized and she'd stop being chastised for things beyond her control and/or understanding. it's messy, and she doesn't know how to explain that without being dismissive of someone who is genuinely trying to support her. she doesn't want to cause any harm. so she doesn't. ]
[shenhe isn't very good at nuance, so - this is probably the smart option. she pauses when nahri gives her the little yeah, and frowns. but. she doesn't argue further. instead, she holds nahri's hand a little more tightly, and tugs her off further into the park.]
... You should tell me when I say something wrong. [she says, voice flat as ever.]
You didn't. [ she responds quickly, wanting to reassure. except that without explanation, does it really do anything?
she follows shenhe along on their path, taking a moment to look at the passing greenery. it helps her ease off her feelings. because she certainly has a lot of them all the time. she's never been one to confide much in others, but she also never really had anyone to confide in before. ]
There's just a lot that happened, and I don't know where to start. Or end.
[one person who has a lot of emotions, and one person who doesn't, what a combination.]
I will listen to whatever you want to tell me. [she says, after a moment. it's not a push to keep going if she doesn't want to, just an offer.] Or we can just walk.
they can walk! they do walk. the squirrels probably harass them a little, though - at least one climbs up shenhe's leg, though she doesn't seem to care very much. it stares at nahri.]
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she has a little bit of a hard time showing it as usual, but she missed! nature! which is why she immediately crosses over into the grass and puts her hands on one of the trees, the faintest bit of a smile on her face.]
It's beautiful. [uwehhh]
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It's not a mountain, but maybe you'll be able to watch the sunrise here too?
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Luckily for us, the sunrise happens once a day. If you miss it, we can try again.
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Then we'll make a plan for it. For now, why don't you enjoy the scenery? Looks like you needed it.
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Yes. [...] Walk with me. I'd like to see how far it goes.
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It's a pretty big place. We could get lost.
[ her tone is ambiguous. but she starts to walk. ]
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I don't mind. [she says, looking up at the trees.] Unless you dislike being outdoors, and then I will pay attention to our direction.
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...And recently I've been able to walk pathways like this and see this big lush gardens, but I'm not used to that, either.
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a pause.] You seem sad, when you talk about home. I don't want to upset you by asking.
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[ she's been good at dodging further questions about home. it's not something she prefers to dwell on or bring attention to, but this time she mulls her answer around for a moment before answering. ]
I'm just homesick. [ hm. ]
I suppose I shouldn't be. I have my own infirmary, my own patients, I live in a palace... or I did, before-- [ she died. she shakes that thought away. ] There's a lot going on. A lot I'll have to return to, if we win.
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[win, she means. she intends to keep that promise.]
You live in a palace and are to be married to a man who I am not allowed to kill. [if you didn't know any better you might hear some annoyance in her tone...] Do you enjoy healing people, Nahri? Is it something that makes you happy?
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[ but. ]
It doesn't really matter what I want. I have to heal people anyway. Or try to...
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It does matter what you want. [stubborn!!!]
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No one else sees it that way. It's what the king wants, or what my people want, or what- what's expected of me.
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[she says, firmly.] Make them see it that way. If you are going to make it through all of this, you will go back to a world that respects you.
[she will never let this go!!]
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Yeah. [ it sounds lame when she says it. ]
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... You should tell me when I say something wrong. [she says, voice flat as ever.]
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she follows shenhe along on their path, taking a moment to look at the passing greenery. it helps her ease off her feelings. because she certainly has a lot of them all the time. she's never been one to confide much in others, but she also never really had anyone to confide in before. ]
There's just a lot that happened, and I don't know where to start. Or end.
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I will listen to whatever you want to tell me. [she says, after a moment. it's not a push to keep going if she doesn't want to, just an offer.] Or we can just walk.
I enjoy your company either way.
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...Let's just walk for a little while.
[ she'll come back to her whole mess later. it's always going to be later. ]
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they can walk! they do walk. the squirrels probably harass them a little, though - at least one climbs up shenhe's leg, though she doesn't seem to care very much. it stares at nahri.]
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