homophonic ❆ nahri

[bindings]

nahri

You're not just a memory.

CODE

Comments

[bindings]

[she'd watched, as everybody had made the decision for her. as they'd made the decision for matsui.

It feels a little bit like they're saying he's not allowed to grieve. Or that it's an inconvenience for him to do so in public. she's still thinking about that. about how that wasn't the case at all, how she thought - no, it isn't grieving, it's self destruction, and how she knows so intimately what that's like. how she would've been relieved to be away from it for a while.

they didn't ask. and she knows they did it to help, but she wonders if that's just a mortal thing. to think they know best, and continue that way.

shenhe curls a little closer.]

I'll be alright next week. [she says, after a moment.] As long as we don't feel each other's emotions.

... Thank you, Nahri.

[ashmark]

Whatever you want. [ she leans into her a bit. ]

I can only hope that we're so lucky, and we don't have to share our thoughts instead.

[ her emotions aren't exactly a secret, so it doesn't bother as much - even when she's still feeling the thrum of anxiety and dull burn of anger. ]

[bindings]

[the anger, on shenhe's side, is starting to fade. she's just miserable instead.]

I think... that would be worse. [she absolutely does not want a single person to hear her thoughts. they are bad. and if what she thinks might happen tomorrow happens, they'll be worse.]

[ashmark]

It would be worse.

[ that is something she can say for certain. you don't make it as a little street rat by thinking happy thoughts and being nice. ]

...No matter what, we're still a team.

[ the affirmation feels necessary. no matter how dark or heinous those thoughts are - should this hypothetical become reality - she she won't drop this team for anything. ]

[bindings]

[another little wave of sorrow curls through her.]

Yes. [... they're still a team. she rests her head against nahri's shoulder.] But I don't only care for our team.

[which is part of the problem, she guesses.]

[ashmark]

[ that finally breaks through her smoldering emotional insulation and her mood just. plummets. ]

I know. [ she can barely get the words out. ]

And I know you're going to protect them too.

[ for a second, it sounded like she was going to say something else, like her words got a false start, but she doesn't say anything else. ]

[bindings]

[she holds just... just a little more tightly.]

I'd like to. [she says, quietly.] But I know that I won't be able to.

[she knows what's realistic. she knows what the end to all of this is.]

[ashmark]

[ she falls quiet, not sure how to fill the silence between them. she doesn't have the words to fill it.

so she strokes shenhe's hair for a moment while she thinks. ]

Have you thought about teaching anyone how to protect themselves? Or... fight?