I'm not stuck there. I choose to be there. [... but.] It's fate. I was born under a star that promised I would bring calamitous ruin to anyone who knew me.
[she puts a bit of donut in her mouth. her emotions are flat again, not sad, not happy, just even.]
[ Sometimes the idea that things are fated to be disastrous is kind of a concept that pisses you off, as much as saying someone's misfortunes are because they didn't pray hard enough, didn't believe hard enough. ]
Always see you tuggin' and messin' around with those. What're they to you?
[she's been told, since she was young, that she was the problem. and so far in her life, nobody has told her that maybe that wasn't true. that she could make her own fate.]
They are meant to suppress my aggression.
[simply said.] Without them, I could hurt people. The downside is that they suppress everything else, as well.
Just pisses me off when people think they can label other people and make them afraid of simple shit like that.
[ It's like how they all label Vash the Humanoid Typhoon, bringer of misfortune and disaster wherever he goes. Sure, it's just in his nature as they say, but every time he watches the idiot put up a fake smile to make himself look as weak as possible, debase himself for the sake of others, it just makes him angry. ]
[she sets the doughnuts aside, looking over the flowers she's still got. she runs her finger over the petals of one.
simple labels like that change people. the humanoid typoon, who tries his best to not look like what his title suggests, and the divine damsel of devastation, who never saw any reason to not be a lovely, merciless statue made of ice.
she rests a hand on her chest.]
Labels are appropriate when you can't seem to prove them wrong.
A monster can be bad, or it can be good. It can be both. It controls the narrative. It isn't up to fate. [...] The choice to spare someone despite knowing you could hurt them is important. You don't think so?
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I'm not stuck there. I choose to be there. [... but.] It's fate. I was born under a star that promised I would bring calamitous ruin to anyone who knew me.
[she puts a bit of donut in her mouth. her emotions are flat again, not sad, not happy, just even.]
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You believe in that shit?
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blinks? and just looks at him, like it never occurred to her to... not.]
... Yes. [there's a little bit of uncertainty, though.] The adepti confirmed it. It's why I wear these.
[taps the red ropes.]
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Always see you tuggin' and messin' around with those. What're they to you?
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They are meant to suppress my aggression.
[simply said.] Without them, I could hurt people. The downside is that they suppress everything else, as well.
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At this point, you might be just thinking they're helping you -- which, fine. Not a bad thing to think that.
But you seem fine enough to me that you could spare a trip down to the city every now and then.
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No. [she says, with a little ping of something that's approaching fear.] They still work.
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Fine, if you say so.
But you don't bring disaster around just by being around. Just by being you.
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That's nice of you to say.
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[ It's like how they all label Vash the Humanoid Typhoon, bringer of misfortune and disaster wherever he goes. Sure, it's just in his nature as they say, but every time he watches the idiot put up a fake smile to make himself look as weak as possible, debase himself for the sake of others, it just makes him angry. ]
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simple labels like that change people. the humanoid typoon, who tries his best to not look like what his title suggests, and the divine damsel of devastation, who never saw any reason to not be a lovely, merciless statue made of ice.
she rests a hand on her chest.]
Labels are appropriate when you can't seem to prove them wrong.
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Am I a monster to you?
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... You've not given me reason to think so.
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[ Looking back at her. ]
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Is that something people call you? Why?
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No horseshit about fate or inescapable destiny.
[ It's all on purpose. ]
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... Ylfa told me something, a few days ago. She said that in stories, monsters are the ones who decide who gets hurt, and who gets spared.
You have never hurt me.
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What'd you think "mercy" meant? Maybe you're just someone I chose to spare.
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Yes. You chose that. So, monster or no, you're choosing a kindness. [she tucks her hair behind her ear.] It's what I'm trying to do, as well.
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[ The little shreds or emotion do suggest that he doesn't think anywhere remotely that easy, even if he doesn't show it outwardly at all. ]
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a pause]
I'm not moving any posts...
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You can't say a monster chooses who gets hurt and who doesn't, and then saying I'm actually a nice guy for doing exactly that. Is what I mean.
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[poor wolfwood]
A monster can be bad, or it can be good. It can be both. It controls the narrative. It isn't up to fate. [...] The choice to spare someone despite knowing you could hurt them is important. You don't think so?
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[ He can be just as obstinate because they're the same. ]
Look, big girl. There's worse than me out there, I know that for sure. But who's lecturing who, here?
You wanna ban yourself from doughnuts for the rest of your life because some fate you can't even see told you you shouldn't?
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No. [she says, after a moment.] I don't want to. Not anymore.
[but there's a difference between want, and have to.]
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