[rang continues, like he doesn't see the danger. no, he does see it, and he relishes in it the only way he knows how, because if he can concentrate on this, then he doesn't have to concentrate on the rest -- he places a hand over his chest,]
Usually I would be with him by now, so we can both stop feeling like this. But I guess I'm the only one suffering now.
... I did. I do. [she says, finally lowering her polearm.] He reminded me of the way I often felt when I was young. He was afraid, and he shouldn't have had to be.
[...his jaw clenches as he looks away -- then he looks right back at Shenhe, as if looking at her is preferable to seeing the alternative]
He was afraid last night. They all were. [a little dully, but without the usual derision that would come from saying this,] None of them wanted it to be them.
I didn't think it would be. We were high up, and I was there. Why go for children when they could have had me?
[makes a strangling emoji motion except not really,
instead he can feel that same vein of bitterness run through him, he feels sick. he wants to say 'this is why i hate humans, all they do is lie and DIE', but a bigger urge compels him to stop, instead]
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... He's dead. [yes, thank you, captain obvious]
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[rang continues, like he doesn't see the danger. no, he does see it, and he relishes in it the only way he knows how, because if he can concentrate on this, then he doesn't have to concentrate on the rest -- he places a hand over his chest,]
Usually I would be with him by now, so we can both stop feeling like this. But I guess I'm the only one suffering now.
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You keep feeling him. What does that mean?
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["partner", he gives a derisive laugh, though the sound is shaky.]
He's dead, and yet I still want to be near him.
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... What can I do? [she's angry. but. she wants to be the sort of person who helps. rin liked that.]
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there is a brief moment of silence, like Rang doesn't know what to say. Because he doesn't know what to say? No one has asked him that.
"How could you just leave when you could help?"]
You cared about him.
[maybe he can hear it -- the presence of rin in shenhe's question,]
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... I did. I do. [she says, finally lowering her polearm.] He reminded me of the way I often felt when I was young. He was afraid, and he shouldn't have had to be.
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He was afraid last night. They all were. [a little dully, but without the usual derision that would come from saying this,] None of them wanted it to be them.
I didn't think it would be. We were high up, and I was there. Why go for children when they could have had me?
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An easier target. [she says, simply. her grip tightens.] He told me he couldn't and wouldn't fight back.
[it makes that little fury rush through her again, and she sucks in a sharp breath to push it back down.]
The person who did it wasn't looking for a fight, they were looking for a victim.
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Why did he say that? [finally, after a beat or two, in tones of rising disbelief] Why did he say he wouldn't fight back?
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[which makes him a better person than her, she thinks.]
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instead he can feel that same vein of bitterness run through him, he feels sick. he wants to say 'this is why i hate humans, all they do is lie and DIE', but a bigger urge compels him to stop, instead]
...I don't understand.
[or maybe he does, in all his years of living]
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I wish I understood better than I do.
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[he wants to know, but what will knowing do?]
All that idiot does is piss me off, even now.
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I intend to find an answer. [she says, after a moment.] It may not be an answer I like, but I will find it.