[SHE SHOULDN'T. HE'S DOING HIS BEST AND IT'S TERRIBLE.
See: the next thing he's about to suggest because Matsui is a deeply traumatized person and all he can think to do in these moments is lean into his deep trauma, which isn't going to help anyone. What Shenhe needs is someone like Buzen, not someone like Matsui.
His hand reaches out toward her, watching her struggle - in a both literally physical way as well as an emotional one, given the coughing, the crying, the wheezing.]
...Would it help to be free of it? For just a short while.
[help me this is the funniest thread we've done this game]
Yes. [she hiccups, a fresh new outpouring of blood dripping from her eyes. she watches him reach, and her hand comes up, disjointed, shakily, like she's going to take it. she thinks it'd be nice to be free of it for a while.]
WELL!! THIS IS TERRIBLE. This is truly terrible in so many ways but Matsui unfortunately understands Shenhe's heart so very, very closely in this moment, because he knows what this anguish feels like intimately, and he wishes someone had asked him this when he wanted it. He loves Buzen to the bottom of his awful heart and back, but Buzen had saved him and loved him and offered no reprieve from the horrors of living through the Shimabara Rebellion.
He reaches forward to hold her hand in his, his fingers cold as always, steady by comparison. He moves forward, if she allows it, to wipe the blood from her cheeks and then fold her into his arms. A hand reaches up, stroking her hair in a pale attempt at comfort.]
...I am sorry, Shenhe. [His voice is heavy with guilt and sorrow and the love he holds for someone who he's come to think of so fondly in his time here.] Rest now, and I will find you when you wake.
[Which is about all the warning she'll get before his arms pull away, and in quick succession there's the sound of metal sliding from its sheathe and the feeling of steel against her neck.
but it is a reprieve. for someone like shenhe, who thought it was okay when someone took all her emotions away when buzen died, it's okay. it's like going to sleep, held by someone, a hand stroking her hair. maybe this will reset her. maybe this will make it easier for her to bear - it's a relief, but it's a punishment, too. penance, for what her hands and her blade did. they're too similar this way.
the steel against her neck doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the rest of her.
... rest, he says, and so she does. she goes limp, and after a couple of moments, her body vanishes.
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no subject
See: the next thing he's about to suggest because Matsui is a deeply traumatized person and all he can think to do in these moments is lean into his deep trauma, which isn't going to help anyone. What Shenhe needs is someone like Buzen, not someone like Matsui.
His hand reaches out toward her, watching her struggle - in a both literally physical way as well as an emotional one, given the coughing, the crying, the wheezing.]
...Would it help to be free of it? For just a short while.
[His voice is so quiet, so soft and gentle.]
no subject
Yes. [she hiccups, a fresh new outpouring of blood dripping from her eyes. she watches him reach, and her hand comes up, disjointed, shakily, like she's going to take it. she thinks it'd be nice to be free of it for a while.]
no subject
WELL!! THIS IS TERRIBLE. This is truly terrible in so many ways but Matsui unfortunately understands Shenhe's heart so very, very closely in this moment, because he knows what this anguish feels like intimately, and he wishes someone had asked him this when he wanted it. He loves Buzen to the bottom of his awful heart and back, but Buzen had saved him and loved him and offered no reprieve from the horrors of living through the Shimabara Rebellion.
He reaches forward to hold her hand in his, his fingers cold as always, steady by comparison. He moves forward, if she allows it, to wipe the blood from her cheeks and then fold her into his arms. A hand reaches up, stroking her hair in a pale attempt at comfort.]
...I am sorry, Shenhe. [His voice is heavy with guilt and sorrow and the love he holds for someone who he's come to think of so fondly in his time here.] Rest now, and I will find you when you wake.
[Which is about all the warning she'll get before his arms pull away, and in quick succession there's the sound of metal sliding from its sheathe and the feeling of steel against her neck.
GOODNIGHT MOON. WHAT THE FUCK.]
no subject
but it is a reprieve. for someone like shenhe, who thought it was okay when someone took all her emotions away when buzen died, it's okay. it's like going to sleep, held by someone, a hand stroking her hair. maybe this will reset her. maybe this will make it easier for her to bear - it's a relief, but it's a punishment, too. penance, for what her hands and her blade did. they're too similar this way.
the steel against her neck doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the rest of her.
... rest, he says, and so she does. she goes limp, and after a couple of moments, her body vanishes.
GOODNIGHT MOON SEE YOU IN LIKE THREE HOURS IG.]