WELL!! THIS IS TERRIBLE. This is truly terrible in so many ways but Matsui unfortunately understands Shenhe's heart so very, very closely in this moment, because he knows what this anguish feels like intimately, and he wishes someone had asked him this when he wanted it. He loves Buzen to the bottom of his awful heart and back, but Buzen had saved him and loved him and offered no reprieve from the horrors of living through the Shimabara Rebellion.
He reaches forward to hold her hand in his, his fingers cold as always, steady by comparison. He moves forward, if she allows it, to wipe the blood from her cheeks and then fold her into his arms. A hand reaches up, stroking her hair in a pale attempt at comfort.]
...I am sorry, Shenhe. [His voice is heavy with guilt and sorrow and the love he holds for someone who he's come to think of so fondly in his time here.] Rest now, and I will find you when you wake.
[Which is about all the warning she'll get before his arms pull away, and in quick succession there's the sound of metal sliding from its sheathe and the feeling of steel against her neck.
but it is a reprieve. for someone like shenhe, who thought it was okay when someone took all her emotions away when buzen died, it's okay. it's like going to sleep, held by someone, a hand stroking her hair. maybe this will reset her. maybe this will make it easier for her to bear - it's a relief, but it's a punishment, too. penance, for what her hands and her blade did. they're too similar this way.
the steel against her neck doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the rest of her.
... rest, he says, and so she does. she goes limp, and after a couple of moments, her body vanishes.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
WELL!! THIS IS TERRIBLE. This is truly terrible in so many ways but Matsui unfortunately understands Shenhe's heart so very, very closely in this moment, because he knows what this anguish feels like intimately, and he wishes someone had asked him this when he wanted it. He loves Buzen to the bottom of his awful heart and back, but Buzen had saved him and loved him and offered no reprieve from the horrors of living through the Shimabara Rebellion.
He reaches forward to hold her hand in his, his fingers cold as always, steady by comparison. He moves forward, if she allows it, to wipe the blood from her cheeks and then fold her into his arms. A hand reaches up, stroking her hair in a pale attempt at comfort.]
...I am sorry, Shenhe. [His voice is heavy with guilt and sorrow and the love he holds for someone who he's come to think of so fondly in his time here.] Rest now, and I will find you when you wake.
[Which is about all the warning she'll get before his arms pull away, and in quick succession there's the sound of metal sliding from its sheathe and the feeling of steel against her neck.
GOODNIGHT MOON. WHAT THE FUCK.]
no subject
but it is a reprieve. for someone like shenhe, who thought it was okay when someone took all her emotions away when buzen died, it's okay. it's like going to sleep, held by someone, a hand stroking her hair. maybe this will reset her. maybe this will make it easier for her to bear - it's a relief, but it's a punishment, too. penance, for what her hands and her blade did. they're too similar this way.
the steel against her neck doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the rest of her.
... rest, he says, and so she does. she goes limp, and after a couple of moments, her body vanishes.
GOODNIGHT MOON SEE YOU IN LIKE THREE HOURS IG.]