[HELP yeah it's the outer park, she doesn't go to the first one much
she just. sits down where she is after she's expelled all of the fire out of her and scowls at the tree like it killed her whole family. her emotions are kill bill sirens,]
[ God, everyone's so negative. Wolfwood himself isn't nearly as bad, a bit exhausted and all but not emanating wave after wave of guilt, anger, and misery. ]
Your emotions. Was it one of us? Or yourself?
[ Just a way of asking if it was consented to by their teammates. ]
... Before this, when I was alive, that is all I had access to. I am used to that. [her nails dig into the grass.] Since you pointed out that my ropes may not work here, I've had... I've had a harder time.
[she's struggling, a little.]
I don't want to be like that all the time, but I needed it.
Maybe we should bring some wooden crates to the McDonalds next time.
Or a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. The ones they use at shooting ranges are good enough to muffle out gunshots, should be plenty to block out everyone chattering.
[ Shenhe would keep having to re-do it like every 30 minutes. ]
...Is this gonna be a weekly thing?
[ He doesn't mean this badly. Just more like... are you going to be okay in the upcoming weeks like this? ]
I can control myself normally. But when I feel my own anger, and then someone's anger on top of it, I can't focus. [it's that feedback loop, like he said.] I didn't want to hurt someone.
[there's a little flicker of something miserable, there.]
Alright, I think that's understandable enough. Kept my distance from a lot of people 'cause the air was really distracting.
[ He's not that kind of person, when there's a job he has to focus on. It's only now that he's finally letting his exhaustion spill through the cracks of emotionshare, and pity for Matsui Gou, the vague frustration and confusion that comes with asking why Libby killed. ]
This place is just trying to fuck with you.
[ Like they don't already know but. Sometimes reiterating it helps. ]
I know. It is... trying to fuck with a lot of people. [she knows that she isn't the only one that's suffering - she's not even the one suffering the most, like, that's obviously matsui.
she's not looking, because she knows he doesn't want to be perceived, but she, as always, wishes she could help.]
I've been fine this week, at least. All of my grievances are just slightly annoying.
[ It's people being stupid and having an aneurysm over these stupid milkshakes everywhere and trial always getting so hectic. All a drop in the water compared to the emotional tidal waves that everyone else is going through. ]
So you should focus on yourself, at least right now.
[ I had this thought like nine hours ago and while I don't know if it makes full sense for Wolfwood to take this leap here in this scenario it's just kind of been in my head so I'm just gonna do it anyway.
It's a method that helps kids at the orphanage sometimes when they're upset? At least to offer. ]
she seems a little startled at first that he'd offer - not in a bad way, just... she isn't expecting it. she looks up at him, and then:]
... Alright. [need is a harder word if only because she doesn't think she needs anything, like she doesn't need good food or a soft place to sleep. she can survive. but want... well, that's different. and she does want a hug. yeah.]
[ It's funny because saying 'want a hug?' usually makes kids tsun even harder. Life is funny that way before the repression and forced self-abstinence kicks in.
Well, here you go. He opens his free arm at any rate. ]
[she will just hug him for a while... not too long, just enough to figure out how to stand without it being awkward. but her emotions do go from rancidly sad to just tired sad, so at least there's that.
she's less muted than before. whether it's because her ropes don't work at all or because they don't work enough is hard to tell, but it's different than it was.
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she just. sits down where she is after she's expelled all of the fire out of her and scowls at the tree like it killed her whole family. her emotions are kill bill sirens,]
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Your emotions. Was it one of us? Or yourself?
[ Just a way of asking if it was consented to by their teammates. ]
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Nahri offered. [she says, thinly.] I wanted to be clear-headed.
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[ He just hopes it was worth it because it made so many other people SO mad. ]
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[that is certain.]
... Before this, when I was alive, that is all I had access to. I am used to that. [her nails dig into the grass.] Since you pointed out that my ropes may not work here, I've had... I've had a harder time.
[she's struggling, a little.]
I don't want to be like that all the time, but I needed it.
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Doesn't help that you gotta hear everyone else so loudly, too.
[ Pity though also not. He doesn't think Shenhe needs pity, just an outlet. ]
What do you normally do when you get on edge? Other than set fires.
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[she says, bluntly. but. also.]
... Meditate. I can't do that during a trial.
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Or a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. The ones they use at shooting ranges are good enough to muffle out gunshots, should be plenty to block out everyone chattering.
[ Shenhe would keep having to re-do it like every 30 minutes. ]
...Is this gonna be a weekly thing?
[ He doesn't mean this badly. Just more like... are you going to be okay in the upcoming weeks like this? ]
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I can control myself normally. But when I feel my own anger, and then someone's anger on top of it, I can't focus. [it's that feedback loop, like he said.] I didn't want to hurt someone.
[there's a little flicker of something miserable, there.]
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[ He's not that kind of person, when there's a job he has to focus on. It's only now that he's finally letting his exhaustion spill through the cracks of emotionshare, and pity for Matsui Gou, the vague frustration and confusion that comes with asking why Libby killed. ]
This place is just trying to fuck with you.
[ Like they don't already know but. Sometimes reiterating it helps. ]
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I know. It is... trying to fuck with a lot of people. [she knows that she isn't the only one that's suffering - she's not even the one suffering the most, like, that's obviously matsui.
she's not looking, because she knows he doesn't want to be perceived, but she, as always, wishes she could help.]
You included, I think.
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[ It's people being stupid and having an aneurysm over these stupid milkshakes everywhere and trial always getting so hectic. All a drop in the water compared to the emotional tidal waves that everyone else is going through. ]
So you should focus on yourself, at least right now.
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focus on yourself, he says.]
I don't know what to do next.
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It's a method that helps kids at the orphanage sometimes when they're upset? At least to offer. ]
Need a hug?
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she seems a little startled at first that he'd offer - not in a bad way, just... she isn't expecting it. she looks up at him, and then:]
... Alright. [need is a harder word if only because she doesn't think she needs anything, like she doesn't need good food or a soft place to sleep. she can survive. but want... well, that's different. and she does want a hug. yeah.]
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Well, here you go. He opens his free arm at any rate. ]
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but she does stand up, and wander over to him. and then clumsily, she hugs him. she's not very good at it, but she's learning.]
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Fortunately for Shenhe Wolfwood is a weirdo but he isn't a goddamn caveman. So he will give her a one armed hug, squeezing her shoulder. ]
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she's less muted than before. whether it's because her ropes don't work at all or because they don't work enough is hard to tell, but it's different than it was.
when she pulls away, she just sighs.]
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Feel any better?
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Yes. [she does, honestly. she didn't realize how much she liked touch from people she trusts until she got here.] Thank you.
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Next time, try the lions. They apparently have an unlimited stock of those at the colosseum.