[ yeah she's so right. he winces a little, but after a measured moment of calm. ]
...I thought you might be trying to pull the emotions from me, or take my heart altogether. I didn't know it was you, and I didn't know about the arrow.
[ ... ]
But I couldn't let it go. It was hurting, but I thought that was fine. [ deserved, really. ] I decided I wanted to hurt.
You shouldn't. [still annoyed!!] I've seen what has made you and if anything, I think it makes you deserving of something soft.
[but like. she knows. she knows what it's like to want to hurt. so she can't scold him too badly, because the red ropes were for her own safety as much as everybody else's.]
[ well. thankfully it's not thoughtshare week yet because he does not agree, but. the mention of his past is a reminder of why he shied away in the first place. ]
... I'd rather hurt, than forget. [ or - not feel at all. ]
In the end, I decided to forget it all and start over, anyway. It's all still blurry, but we were given the chance to make a deal with a witch who could alter reality. The entire thing sounds like a fever dream.
[ god. he's so tired. having A Lot of Emotions and getting stabbed a lot was really tiring. ]
[she can kind of sense the tired, and - well, he didn't push her too badly, so. she'll be nice. she doesn't think she's as good at helping with words, anyway. she hugs him a little more tightly for a moment, exhaling harshly.
she's still a little frightened, like. residuals. after he came back full of holes.]
That is how those go. [mostly. a pause. and then she shifts and just picks him up? scoops him right up bridal style.] I am taking you to your room.
[ fei du is never allowed to have a single moment of dignity in the graveyard. not a single one.
he doesn't fight it, because he is tired, and he does just give up and allow her to manhandle him with a sigh. which is fine, mostly because as he settles, he lets his thoughts wander and absently lifts his hand, like he's expecting something to happen with it.
nothing does, and he sighs again, and leans against shenhe proper. ]
[he is not no this is what he gets for making friends with someone eight times his strength.
she carries him easily enough, letting him settle as she walks, slow and easy towards the hotel. she's in no rush. it's kind of nice to get to hold him like this, funnily enough. the afterlife really turned her into a touch fiend.
she does give him a curious look when he lifts his hand, though.]
...I thought I might be able to make the light again.
[ but, no - he gave all that magic up. didn't he? it'd been so easy, then. a flick of the wrist, a flick of his fingertips, to let in the light. to learn to draw power from love, instead of steal it away like a thief from the very sun itself. ] But it really was part of the deal.
[ this is a little dreamily said - like he's lapsing back into the fantasy of it all. ]
What was? The light? [she's curious... it sounds like he went through a lot, but it also sounds less like something grabbed at his sanity and cut all the cords in one go, so she kind of wants to hear about it.]
he makes a noise, soft. ] Mmm. My magic. [ still quiet and dreamy, as he lets his eyes close. ] The witch asked me for a trade. She took out the arrow, and I traded my memories of everything and my magic away.
I messed it up so badly, that I'd give up anything to set it right.
[ there's a pause, though, and he drops his hand. ] ...Well. Almost anything. I decided that I was going to be selfish, and I wouldn't just ask her to take me out of his memories entirely in a new life.
[ it doesn't really hurt, but it's just instinct, at this point. he's mumbling, too. ]
Mm. I traded with her, and when I left, I wasn't Chang'e. I had a chance at another life... and then all of my injuries from the battle came back. [ now he makes a little bit of a face, recalling. not fun. ] And then we went through that portal, and now we're back here.
... I haven't noticed any strange effects other than that, with you. [she kicks open the door to the hotel because her arms are full.] And you are healed, now.
he gives her a little pat on the shoulder from where he is settled, and gestures at said mini fridge. maybe he will teach his bird a little alcoholism as a treat. ]
[hmmmmm she still doesn't really like the taste but. she probably was able to sleep through the night after he got her those small ones, so she's considering it.
[ fei du consistently in the week 3 trial like i'm TELLING you people she doesnt like to drink
but he holds his hands out for it and pops the top off with minimal effort, sitting on the bed and pulling his long legs in so there's place for shenhe to join him. for all of the chaos of the others, fei du is entirely too solitary to be staying in a room with other people, and not nearly trusting enough to stay with anyone in shibuya.
... besides shenhe. she's the only one, so. this room is hers as much as it is his.
he just takes a swig straight out of the bottle because that's the kind of day it's been. ]
Do you think two of these missions are enough? I feel like I've had enough.
[HELP YEAH everybody forgot about the little wet mark on the concrete because that was where she spit out the beer when gerard wasn't looking!! (mods voice) IT WASN'T POISON YOU PIECE OF SHIT STONERS
she climbs onto the bed after him. for as much as she does love the other people in the graveyard, sometimes she needs a quiet place. this is good for that. this room is a little sanctuary.
when he drinks right from the bottle, she wrinkles her nose, but she doesn't say anything.]
I think so. [...] I was surprised to see you had gone on another. I wonder what that means, and if others will end up going on more...
[ it's not thoughtshare week as of this, but if it was, shenhe would be able to tell the way the drink helps to clear his head. the burn of alcohol is familiar, and the depressant effect works just as well as any of the things in his mini fridge at home, helping to keep him focusing on the conversation at hand, helping him stay grounded in reality.
this is shibuya. he's dead. luo wenzhou is alive on the other side. they are not magical. they have not been separated for a thousand years. he exhales, lets the drink burn, and settles back. ]
I hope not. [ stop letting people go on two! smashcut to gerard on his second cyoa in a week. ] At least it's a way for us to get points. A means to an ends, if nothing else.
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...I thought you might be trying to pull the emotions from me, or take my heart altogether. I didn't know it was you, and I didn't know about the arrow.
[ ... ]
But I couldn't let it go. It was hurting, but I thought that was fine. [ deserved, really. ] I decided I wanted to hurt.
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You shouldn't. [still annoyed!!] I've seen what has made you and if anything, I think it makes you deserving of something soft.
[but like. she knows. she knows what it's like to want to hurt. so she can't scold him too badly, because the red ropes were for her own safety as much as everybody else's.]
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... I'd rather hurt, than forget. [ or - not feel at all. ]
In the end, I decided to forget it all and start over, anyway. It's all still blurry, but we were given the chance to make a deal with a witch who could alter reality. The entire thing sounds like a fever dream.
[ god. he's so tired. having A Lot of Emotions and getting stabbed a lot was really tiring. ]
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she's still a little frightened, like. residuals. after he came back full of holes.]
That is how those go. [mostly. a pause. and then she shifts and just picks him up? scoops him right up bridal style.] I am taking you to your room.
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I am healed, you know... I can walk....
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[yes??? she ignores him and starts walking help]
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he doesn't fight it, because he is tired, and he does just give up and allow her to manhandle him with a sigh. which is fine, mostly because as he settles, he lets his thoughts wander and absently lifts his hand, like he's expecting something to happen with it.
nothing does, and he sighs again, and leans against shenhe proper. ]
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she carries him easily enough, letting him settle as she walks, slow and easy towards the hotel. she's in no rush. it's kind of nice to get to hold him like this, funnily enough. the afterlife really turned her into a touch fiend.
she does give him a curious look when he lifts his hand, though.]
What are you doing?
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[ but, no - he gave all that magic up. didn't he? it'd been so easy, then. a flick of the wrist, a flick of his fingertips, to let in the light. to learn to draw power from love, instead of steal it away like a thief from the very sun itself. ] But it really was part of the deal.
[ this is a little dreamily said - like he's lapsing back into the fantasy of it all. ]
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What was? The light? [she's curious... it sounds like he went through a lot, but it also sounds less like something grabbed at his sanity and cut all the cords in one go, so she kind of wants to hear about it.]
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he makes a noise, soft. ] Mmm. My magic. [ still quiet and dreamy, as he lets his eyes close. ] The witch asked me for a trade. She took out the arrow, and I traded my memories of everything and my magic away.
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... he can be dreamy for now but if it gets worse she's going to be worried.] Was that what you wanted?
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I messed it up so badly, that I'd give up anything to set it right.
[ there's a pause, though, and he drops his hand. ] ...Well. Almost anything. I decided that I was going to be selfish, and I wouldn't just ask her to take me out of his memories entirely in a new life.
[ we are learning ]
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It is not selfish to give and receive love. [she huffs, re-arranging him in her arms.] Good, though. Is that how it ended?
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[ it doesn't really hurt, but it's just instinct, at this point. he's mumbling, too. ]
Mm. I traded with her, and when I left, I wasn't Chang'e. I had a chance at another life... and then all of my injuries from the battle came back. [ now he makes a little bit of a face, recalling. not fun. ] And then we went through that portal, and now we're back here.
... All of it's still so blurry.
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[she was disoriented as fuck after her own, so.]
... I haven't noticed any strange effects other than that, with you. [she kicks open the door to the hotel because her arms are full.] And you are healed, now.
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I'll be honest with you, if there's anything, I'm just repressing it.
[ healthy! he makes a little noise when she kicks the door open. impressive! ] I need a drink.
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I would like one as well. [you've made the bird an alcoholic (no)]
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[ of course there is.
he gives her a little pat on the shoulder from where he is settled, and gestures at said mini fridge. maybe he will teach his bird a little alcoholism as a treat. ]
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... she'll bring him the bottle, either way.]
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but he holds his hands out for it and pops the top off with minimal effort, sitting on the bed and pulling his long legs in so there's place for shenhe to join him. for all of the chaos of the others, fei du is entirely too solitary to be staying in a room with other people, and not nearly trusting enough to stay with anyone in shibuya.
... besides shenhe. she's the only one, so. this room is hers as much as it is his.
he just takes a swig straight out of the bottle because that's the kind of day it's been. ]
Do you think two of these missions are enough? I feel like I've had enough.
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she climbs onto the bed after him. for as much as she does love the other people in the graveyard, sometimes she needs a quiet place. this is good for that. this room is a little sanctuary.
when he drinks right from the bottle, she wrinkles her nose, but she doesn't say anything.]
I think so. [...] I was surprised to see you had gone on another. I wonder what that means, and if others will end up going on more...
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this is shibuya. he's dead. luo wenzhou is alive on the other side. they are not magical. they have not been separated for a thousand years. he exhales, lets the drink burn, and settles back. ]
I hope not. [ stop letting people go on two! smashcut to gerard on his second cyoa in a week. ] At least it's a way for us to get points. A means to an ends, if nothing else.