I doubt that anybody would ask me to be on their team because they like me. [this is a weird mix of ego and self deprecation, but slightly to the left. she knows she's strong, and she'd be a boon to have on a team, but also she knows her personality leaves something to be desired. which is okay. that's something she's accepted.]
But that isn't my concern. My concern is that nobody's fate should be tied to mine.
[ ... ] Did one of the Reapers have anything to say about it?
[ and, ] No one specific, but a healer would be useful to have around. Anyone with half a brain, or can't be easily erased. And I suppose anyone who's not bothered by... me.
[ she sighs ] But in the end, I suppose it's really just that last part that matters.
[a healer would be useful to have around considering shenhe's general existence]
What is there to be bothered by? [she sounds genuinely confused by that because yuzuriha seems fine to her?? granted, shenhe's standards are a different set entirely, but hey.
and as for that question, she shakes her head no.]
[ she looks a little surprised at first, and then not surprised at all. this is really why she approached shenhe in the first place, because she got the feeling she's not the sort to care (for better or worse) ]
Aww, no need to worry about lil' ol' me! [ she gets up from her spot to wander off again, no need to drag things out. (bc im gonna be zooming back in like 2 hrs) ]
Listen up Shenshen, if you let yourself get erased for any reason, I'll definitely have hard feelings.
she looks a little surprised by this, if only because she doesn't always do well with sudden mood changes like that - it takes her a second to realize that yuzuriha is telling her that she would be upset, too.
a pause.]
I will take that under consideration. [she says, softer, tucking her hair behind her ear.] Be careful nonetheless.
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Ah, no, what the referees explained wasn't surprising. [...] I don't often work well with others.
[she is concerned about Teams]
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Mmm, I don't think you're the only one. [ working with other people... such a chore, she knows. ]
But it sounds like there's no other choice. Are you worried you won't like your teammates? Or that they won't like you?
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I doubt that anybody would ask me to be on their team because they like me. [this is a weird mix of ego and self deprecation, but slightly to the left. she knows she's strong, and she'd be a boon to have on a team, but also she knows her personality leaves something to be desired. which is okay. that's something she's accepted.]
But that isn't my concern. My concern is that nobody's fate should be tied to mine.
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but also shenhe is right, it's not really a matter of personality, but competence. even so... ]
If I asked you to be on my team, could you entrust your fate to someone like me?
[ what she means is, ] I think you're hardly the worst option around here. Especially if you're that concerned about it.
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Ah, you misunderstand. It isn't that I'm concerned about my fate, I am concerned about what it will do to others. My curse is mine to bear.
[... but.]
Have you asked anybody else?
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Is it that much worse than being dead? What sort of curse is it?
[ ... ]
Not yet, but I'm planning to, eventually.
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a pause.]
Who did you have in mind?
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[ and, ] No one specific, but a healer would be useful to have around. Anyone with half a brain, or can't be easily erased. And I suppose anyone who's not bothered by... me.
[ she sighs ] But in the end, I suppose it's really just that last part that matters.
no subject
What is there to be bothered by? [she sounds genuinely confused by that because yuzuriha seems fine to her?? granted, shenhe's standards are a different set entirely, but hey.
and as for that question, she shakes her head no.]
1/2
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...No hard feelings if you wanna go with someone else. There's still time to think things through, and it's not like we owe each other anything.
[ she's still gonna pester her, regardless!! ]
...What're you looking for in a teammate? Neverminding the whole curse thing.
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[she might as well just say it. as far the rest, she thinks about it.]
I am not one for strategy, so... [...] I would not want to impede someone else on their path to their second chance. I don't care about winning.
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[ she hums quietly, before asking, ]
...But you don't want to be erased either, right?
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Despite everything, the idea of erasure is frightening to me.
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Well, yeah. It sucks just thinking about it! It would be crazy not to be worried.
[ ... ]
We'll just have to do our best not to let that happen.
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[because... well, it makes her sad to think about, and she doesn't like being sad.]
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she's quiet for a moment, before she chirps up ]
Aww, no need to worry about lil' ol' me! [ she gets up from her spot to wander off again, no need to drag things out. (bc im gonna be zooming back in like 2 hrs) ]
Listen up Shenshen, if you let yourself get erased for any reason, I'll definitely have hard feelings.
no subject
she looks a little surprised by this, if only because she doesn't always do well with sudden mood changes like that - it takes her a second to realize that yuzuriha is telling her that she would be upset, too.
a pause.]
I will take that under consideration. [she says, softer, tucking her hair behind her ear.] Be careful nonetheless.
[but she'll let her go!]