[he's going to find shenhe as soon as the trial is over,
how are the emotions gurl. rang's is a writhing mix of hatred and rage and also grief, along with hurt -- though it dims a little when he catches sight of her,]
she's like forty flavors of angry and it's not muted this time, which is maybe a little scary. when he finds her, she's sitting front of a tree that's fully on fire. she's just watching it burn.]
Last night. [...] After I spoke to several people about my concerns about trial.
No. [she looks at him.] And I don't want you to look. I was fine that way.
I found, this week, that it is much more difficult for me to contain my murderous urges when I am angry and I feel someone else's anger on top of that. I don't want to hurt people, and I would've. I came close.
[and like, honestly - really. she doesn't want to hurt people. not people who don't deserve it. there's something miserable and pained in her emotions when she says it.]
[he understands what she means. their words are similar in that way, he thinks]
I just don't want anyone to have a say in your fate again, I suppose. Even in that. ...But I'm glad it helped you, that it prevented you from hurting others.
[as much as he thinks shenhe is like him, she's different from him in that at least.]
[i don't want anyone to have a say in your fate again.
bit by bit that misery is peeling away. she wonders, for a moment, if he knows what that means to her, and then thinks - yeah, maybe more than anybody.]
... If anybody curses you again, you can come to me, and I will heal it for you.
Yes. [she says, and like - she's trying to give him her usual Look, but she's stumbling a little on it. she keeps thinking about how this could be gone. local bird learns how to lose people for the first time after death ig]
You should be afraid of me in general. You're the only one who knows the whole truth, so you're the only one who can appreciate what sort of ruin I could bring you.
[this is mostly a joke, even if she just sort of sounds sad when she says it.]
[at that, he laughs. because it's funny, and because he doesn't want to hear shenhe sound sad. hypocritical of him, to not want shenhe to feel emotions,]
I've known what you could bring me since the day we met.
[...]
But I like being the most annoying to you, and the only one who knows the truth.
I figured you might. [...] I will miss you. If worst comes to worst.
[she doesn't think that anybody can make matsui stay, and she's preparing for it. kaveh thought he'd have more time. he told her that, and it stuck with her, so... she won't hide, or keep this to herself. not when she's made a connection like this.]
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w2, SATURDAY
how are the emotions gurl. rang's is a writhing mix of hatred and rage and also grief, along with hurt -- though it dims a little when he catches sight of her,]
Shenhe. When exactly did you get cursed?
no subject
she's like forty flavors of angry and it's not muted this time, which is maybe a little scary. when he finds her, she's sitting front of a tree that's fully on fire. she's just watching it burn.]
Last night. [...] After I spoke to several people about my concerns about trial.
no subject
...Do you have someone you suspect?
no subject
I found, this week, that it is much more difficult for me to contain my murderous urges when I am angry and I feel someone else's anger on top of that. I don't want to hurt people, and I would've. I came close.
[and like, honestly - really. she doesn't want to hurt people. not people who don't deserve it. there's something miserable and pained in her emotions when she says it.]
no subject
Nahri accused me of lifting your curse. She cares for you very much.
[the emotions are very cold though, hurt, as if the reminder is dredging up a memory]
I told her I didn't, and I meant that. I was too occupied with Matsui getting cursed constantly throughout trial.
no subject
I believe you. [and she does. she always believes what he tells her. he hasn't lied to her yet, she thinks.] And I'm sorry if I worried you.
The fact that you were angry on my behalf is something I'm not used to.
[so, like... thank you, is what she's saying.]
no subject
I just don't want anyone to have a say in your fate again, I suppose. Even in that. ...But I'm glad it helped you, that it prevented you from hurting others.
[as much as he thinks shenhe is like him, she's different from him in that at least.]
no subject
bit by bit that misery is peeling away. she wonders, for a moment, if he knows what that means to her, and then thinks - yeah, maybe more than anybody.]
... If anybody curses you again, you can come to me, and I will heal it for you.
no subject
That reminds me of when I offered to heal you, and you said no. Should I be afraid of what other conditions there are to this deal you're offering?
no subject
You should be afraid of me in general. You're the only one who knows the whole truth, so you're the only one who can appreciate what sort of ruin I could bring you.
[this is mostly a joke, even if she just sort of sounds sad when she says it.]
no subject
I've known what you could bring me since the day we met.
[...]
But I like being the most annoying to you, and the only one who knows the truth.
no subject
silence, for a long moment, and then:]
I figured you might. [...] I will miss you. If worst comes to worst.
[she doesn't think that anybody can make matsui stay, and she's preparing for it. kaveh thought he'd have more time. he told her that, and it stuck with her, so... she won't hide, or keep this to herself. not when she's made a connection like this.]