[it helps though, because she associates music with friends, with people she loves. she thinks about music and thinks about jumping up and down with buzen and matsui the first week she was dead, on a dare, and realizing how much fun she was having while doing it.
it makes her feel connected. and that's what she wants.
so she leans against him, resting her head on his shoulder, and if he hums enough for her to catch on, she'll hum along with him.]
[As he'd done once before, he leans his head back against hers when she does that, quiet and affectionate and gently sorrowful. The lullaby is fairly easy to copy and guess at the notes with and also fairly long, so they have plenty of time to hum together.
Once that song comes to an end, there are a few seconds of silence and then:]
Do you feel any more grounded? Would you like to learn another?
she feels a little more centered. like some of the fraying parts of the rope keeping her together are glued back together.]
I will learn as many as you teach me. [she says, eyes closed.] ... I will remember them, too.
[tonight she's really feeling the weight of history. of how short life is and can be. transient. it's never really been like this for her before, she's never thought about the future or what her place is. it's wild, to be a part of something. good and bad all at once.
but this is a little piece of matsui that she can hold onto. so it doesn't really matter how long or short anything else. she has this.]
[They can breathe together, in and out. He's quiet for a second before nodding.]
I will teach you more, then.
[To give her something to hold onto. To pass a little piece of the history that made him on to her, in the hopes that it can give her feet some solid ground.
He'll hum through severalsongsfor her, sometimes singing the lyrics but mostly humming so that it's easier to pick up on and hum along with him, if she wants. And he'll stay here like that, resting gently against her, until she indicates she'd rather do something else.]
[honestly? after a couple songs, she's going to pass the fuck out. the songs are comforting enough that, combined with his presence and with how worn out she is after everything, she probably just conks out against his shoulder.
the nice thing is that at least she probably won't have nightmares. so... that's nice. he's given her enough ground to cling to.]
[SWEET SHENHE not cursed to nightmares unlike RANG... He'll be glad, at least, when her sleep doesn't seem fitful. And for as long as she slumbers, he'll sit with her like this, only moving her if she seems like she's sliding down so that she can settle against his lap instead in the same way that Buzen allows him to rest when he's tired and they're too far from any bed.
It feels like an insignificant thing in exchange for the suffering she's undergone, but he's always glad to do what he can, in even the smallest of ways.]
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it makes her feel connected. and that's what she wants.
so she leans against him, resting her head on his shoulder, and if he hums enough for her to catch on, she'll hum along with him.]
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Once that song comes to an end, there are a few seconds of silence and then:]
Do you feel any more grounded? Would you like to learn another?
no subject
she feels a little more centered. like some of the fraying parts of the rope keeping her together are glued back together.]
I will learn as many as you teach me. [she says, eyes closed.] ... I will remember them, too.
[tonight she's really feeling the weight of history. of how short life is and can be. transient. it's never really been like this for her before, she's never thought about the future or what her place is. it's wild, to be a part of something. good and bad all at once.
but this is a little piece of matsui that she can hold onto. so it doesn't really matter how long or short anything else. she has this.]
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I will teach you more, then.
[To give her something to hold onto. To pass a little piece of the history that made him on to her, in the hopes that it can give her feet some solid ground.
He'll hum through several songs for her, sometimes singing the lyrics but mostly humming so that it's easier to pick up on and hum along with him, if she wants. And he'll stay here like that, resting gently against her, until she indicates she'd rather do something else.]
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the nice thing is that at least she probably won't have nightmares. so... that's nice. he's given her enough ground to cling to.]
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It feels like an insignificant thing in exchange for the suffering she's undergone, but he's always glad to do what he can, in even the smallest of ways.]