[ it's okay shenhe it has taken him a couple of breakdowns to realize this was abnormal ]
... Even if I told you that I'm a monster? [ He can feel his nerves rattling, threatening to spiral, and with awareness he tries to tightly grasp onto composure. ] —sorry. That slipped.
[ Maybe they just have different definitions, but he sees them as people who are just maneuvering life through the complicated problems. They really are going to stay crouched on the floor because Vash is like I am just a worm. ]
I am one. [ Shaking his head rapidly like a dog trying to dry itself after a bath. ] But that isn't the point. I'm here to apologize for the shitty thing I did.
Hm. Well. Unfortunately for you, your word isn't law.
[so she doesn't have to believe him on any of those things! not that she follows laws anyway. she's totally fine with just being on the floor, honestly, her bones can take it.]
You have apologized and I have mostly forgiven you. I want to hear why you are one.
[ Vash was about to ask if Shenhe has any laws she had to follow in the first place? Would this even matter? They're really just creatures because they're fine with such bad positions for the human body.
Fear hits him like a truck at considering telling her. In general, anyone learning the truth to his awful existence leaves him anxious. What if she becomes scared of him? What if she leaves? It would be right of her, he thinks. ]
I was born one. [ And that's not something he can change. ] Just a walking death wish... I could raze cities in an instant—and I have. It could have been the whole planet, even galaxy. I was a threat to mankind.
... He'd rather not, but he owes her answers after cursing the shit out of her and then later she dies oop. So he feels guilty enough, despite wanting to hide. ]
... I'm not human. Not a spirit, or anything from the divine, either.
"Plants" where I'm from is a term... They are manmade resource power plants, capable of drawing energy to procure any necessity for human survival. Water, food, light, trees, electricity, gravity, oxygen—they can provide it all as long as they're cared for. They cannot live outside of the bubble biome and they need maintenance, so they rely on mankind.
My brother and I were a scientific miracle. Born from a plant, we were independent beings, able to walk and talk like humans. However, our powers were catastrophic. Plants come in two varieties. Ones that draw energy, which includes my brother, he could manipulate and weaponize it. The other type of plant can expel energy.
[ He closes his eyes, trying to calm down the insecure nerves, however they get to him. The area around the corner of his eyes change texture, growing short ligaments that mimic white feathers with crevices that could be mistaken for markings. They flare at the wild emotions, but this is just the flavor text i got approved to be able to do because it's biological and ultimately they don't do anything. ]
They can create a void... And it can swallow everything in its path. Planets, galaxies, can fall into this black hole.
[she says, gently. she reaches for his hands, or for any part of him, just to... well, reassure, but also show that she isn't scared of him, or repulsed. she will always reach. whatever he is, she's seen who he is. and she trusts that over anything else.]
... You are a little like the swords were. [made by and used by humans.] Do you want to know what Ylfa told me, once?
[ For a moment, those feathers flare and extend, but they shorten like they're being stifled by an unknown force. He doesn't step away, or run, he lets this happen because in the end... He just wants to be with other people.
Quiet, he simply looks at her. How is he supposed to know? What can he even expect? Is it about being a monster? It must be.
He isn't sure how much of it would help him, but any type of salvation would be preferable than the mess that is his mind. Even if it lasts for a short time. ]
Monsters are the ones who decide who gets hurt, and who gets saved.
[she holds his hands, gentle still - doesn't touch the feathers or try and pet them, for now. he's giving her trust, and she wants to honor that.]
I don't think you are one. But... [she glances up at him.] It has helped me to think of things that way. That whatever I am, that whatever you are, you try to help. You have helped. You have helped me.
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... Even if I told you that I'm a monster? [ He can feel his nerves rattling, threatening to spiral, and with awareness he tries to tightly grasp onto composure. ] —sorry. That slipped.
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We are a team full of them. So yes. Even if. [that slipped, he says, but she shifts, resting her hand on his shoulder.]
Do you believe that you are one? [don't lie to her she's dead]
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[ Maybe they just have different definitions, but he sees them as people who are just maneuvering life through the complicated problems. They really are going to stay crouched on the floor because Vash is like I am just a worm. ]
I am one. [ Shaking his head rapidly like a dog trying to dry itself after a bath. ] But that isn't the point. I'm here to apologize for the shitty thing I did.
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[so she doesn't have to believe him on any of those things! not that she follows laws anyway. she's totally fine with just being on the floor, honestly, her bones can take it.]
You have apologized and I have mostly forgiven you. I want to hear why you are one.
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Fear hits him like a truck at considering telling her. In general, anyone learning the truth to his awful existence leaves him anxious. What if she becomes scared of him? What if she leaves? It would be right of her, he thinks. ]
I was born one. [ And that's not something he can change. ] Just a walking death wish... I could raze cities in an instant—and I have. It could have been the whole planet, even galaxy. I was a threat to mankind.
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You are a threat to mankind? [this is so mean but like, he lets her beat him up so much that she's like are you sure. at least it isn't fear!]
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Stop that. [she's so exasperated]
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[ He'S JUST ON THE FLOOR ]
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Explain more. [talk about your past since i CAN'T GET YOU FOR MEMSHARE HUFFS]
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... He'd rather not, but he owes her answers after cursing the shit out of her and then later she dies oop. So he feels guilty enough, despite wanting to hide. ]
... I'm not human. Not a spirit, or anything from the divine, either.
"Plants" where I'm from is a term... They are manmade resource power plants, capable of drawing energy to procure any necessity for human survival. Water, food, light, trees, electricity, gravity, oxygen—they can provide it all as long as they're cared for. They cannot live outside of the bubble biome and they need maintenance, so they rely on mankind.
My brother and I were a scientific miracle. Born from a plant, we were independent beings, able to walk and talk like humans. However, our powers were catastrophic. Plants come in two varieties. Ones that draw energy, which includes my brother, he could manipulate and weaponize it. The other type of plant can expel energy.
[ He closes his eyes, trying to calm down the insecure nerves, however they get to him. The area around the corner of his eyes change texture, growing short ligaments that mimic white feathers with crevices that could be mistaken for markings. They flare at the wild emotions, but this is just the flavor text i got approved to be able to do because it's biological and ultimately they don't do anything. ]
They can create a void... And it can swallow everything in its path. Planets, galaxies, can fall into this black hole.
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And you are this variety.
[she says, gently. she reaches for his hands, or for any part of him, just to... well, reassure, but also show that she isn't scared of him, or repulsed. she will always reach. whatever he is, she's seen who he is. and she trusts that over anything else.]
... You are a little like the swords were. [made by and used by humans.] Do you want to know what Ylfa told me, once?
[this has a point.]
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Quiet, he simply looks at her. How is he supposed to know? What can he even expect? Is it about being a monster? It must be.
He isn't sure how much of it would help him, but any type of salvation would be preferable than the mess that is his mind. Even if it lasts for a short time. ]
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[she holds his hands, gentle still - doesn't touch the feathers or try and pet them, for now. he's giving her trust, and she wants to honor that.]
I don't think you are one. But... [she glances up at him.] It has helped me to think of things that way. That whatever I am, that whatever you are, you try to help. You have helped. You have helped me.
That says more about you than anything else.