...half the time, those are equally terrifying. [ lightly. but honest. being a teenager is already hard, but having to deal with his own emotions after everything that's happened is...overwhelming, really. it's little cracks of insecurity, blips of anxiety, shreds of anger and all combined with a waging war between the heaviness of grief and the desire to be calm, reliable and better.
which, he thinks, is why it's easier to focus on staying calm and levelheaded and dealing with his shit privately because blowing up would be disastrous. explaining that to shenhe, who has to quite literally keep her emotions bound, feels stupid though when it pales in comparison. ]
But I do see your point. I think being able to express yourself, if you can, isn't a bad thing. It's just that there are plenty of emotions that are worse than others. Those are the ones I don't want people to see if I can help it.
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...half the time, those are equally terrifying. [ lightly. but honest. being a teenager is already hard, but having to deal with his own emotions after everything that's happened is...overwhelming, really. it's little cracks of insecurity, blips of anxiety, shreds of anger and all combined with a waging war between the heaviness of grief and the desire to be calm, reliable and better.
which, he thinks, is why it's easier to focus on staying calm and levelheaded and dealing with his shit privately because blowing up would be disastrous. explaining that to shenhe, who has to quite literally keep her emotions bound, feels stupid though when it pales in comparison. ]
But I do see your point. I think being able to express yourself, if you can, isn't a bad thing. It's just that there are plenty of emotions that are worse than others. Those are the ones I don't want people to see if I can help it.