[silence, from shenhe, who is just deliberately and carefully blank. a little bit of her own guilt curls up in a wisp and then settles. this is hilariously on brand - she doesn't know how to help, and she when she tries, she makes it worse. she doesn't feel bad about it. she just accepts that, as he boxes up all his emotions and seals them away.
the only thing she can offer is the calm, so she gives it as much as she can, watching him with aurora eyes that are just a little darker in color than they were before.
this time she doesn't say anything, she just nods. keep going, she's listening.]
it's fine, though - this is normal for fei du. there is no making it better, ultimately, because he just won't let himself. he won't even admit anything's wrong. he shakes his head as she nods, though, dropping his hands into his lap. the emotions are still just an empty void. ]
... That was it, more or less. I had found the key to the house earlier; we went inside. It turned into an egg. I passed out after that.
[the more i play shenhe the more i'm like she's a flurry character in disguise
she's still quiet, and then she carefully stands up. she scoots over to him, and sits down next to him. shoulder to shoulder. she rests her hand on his arm, careful and telegraphed, and taps one, two, three, four.]
[ he doesn't push her away or ask her to stop - just holds very still. shenhe will find he's very tense, like he's holding himself together.
the tapping surprises him a bit, like he didn't even realize he was doing it too. his own hand stops, and he turns to look at her, expression a little surprised momentarily as his emotions swirl somewhere in that deep emptiness into a mix of things. a little confusion, a little recognition, something quietly sad. he takes a deep breath. ]
... Sure. [ mm. ] You would have to speak to the others if you wanted any other details - we weren't together the entire time.
[ that's not the point, and he knows it, but still. ]
[this is such a butthole thing to say but she's not really into lying, so. her loyalties are probably pretty clear in general. she settles where she is, not moving her hand. if he asked her to stop she would, but this makes her feel a little better about him being safe.]
[ because when that woman started choking him, fei du could have died, because he was so far out of his body that he was just letting it happen. the traumatic flashback had been too much - old memories that were hidden and buried that he dug out with a rusty knife now present themselves to the front of his psyche.
he doesn't let himself linger on it in the moment, though, and jokes, quietly: ] Even if he left me to lift a grandfather clock by myself.
[ he's too clever to just hulk it out. who is he, luo wenzhou? her little heh gets him to smile a bit, too, more naturally. ]
There was a crushed egg, inside. [ but, that natural smile - it starts to fade, there. ]
I suppose there was one other thing. [ and after a moment, he feels around in his pockets, and pulls out a small handful of what appears to be egg shells. or - at least, the pieces of one. one that must have been shattered almost beyond recognition, because those pieces go back into his pocket.
the other one, though, just has one crack in it. broken, but not destroyed, and it's painted! it's painted with a little face. the crack goes through it, but it doesn't ruin the effect - the cutely painted face looks a lot like this guy. fei du's voidlike emotions change a little, when he does - they soften, around the edges, almost automatically. ] We ended up in a field on our way to the house full of eggs. Some of them were broken, and some weren't. I picked this one up because I recognized it.
but, he turns the egg a little bit, looking at the painted surface; the bloom of affection in his emotions, though muted, is present, underlaced with something quietly sad. ] My ge. Luo Wenzhou's police partner, Tao Ran. After my mother passed away, he looked after me when my father wasn't around.
Will he be alright? [or was it one of those things where he doesn't know and now he's. here, with no way of knowing. jesus, imagine people knew they were dead.]
[which is... true, she doesn't think she's ever lost anybody that she cared about to that extent. smashcut to friday where i hope i don't eat my words.]
If he was alright and stubborn enough to want to work, I think it's likely he has enough spirit to do anything. [...] How did he get injured in the first place?
the corner of his mouth lifts, but it's a bitter smile. there's no emotions again - whatever was left swirls together into something sardonic and - and angry, though it's very, very muted. ]
Hm. [she looks at him for a second.] I'm guessing this is going to be one of those situations where you warn me not to ask you further questions by saying my name sternly.
[ the forming tension fades, a little, and the emotions scatter away. he reaches up and pushes his glasses off of his face briefly, pinching the bridge of his nose. ]
It has been a very, very long day. [ ... ] Would you like to stay together again, tonight?
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the only thing she can offer is the calm, so she gives it as much as she can, watching him with aurora eyes that are just a little darker in color than they were before.
this time she doesn't say anything, she just nods. keep going, she's listening.]
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it's fine, though - this is normal for fei du. there is no making it better, ultimately, because he just won't let himself. he won't even admit anything's wrong. he shakes his head as she nods, though, dropping his hands into his lap. the emotions are still just an empty void. ]
... That was it, more or less. I had found the key to the house earlier; we went inside. It turned into an egg. I passed out after that.
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she's still quiet, and then she carefully stands up. she scoots over to him, and sits down next to him. shoulder to shoulder. she rests her hand on his arm, careful and telegraphed, and taps one, two, three, four.]
Thank you for telling me.
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the tapping surprises him a bit, like he didn't even realize he was doing it too. his own hand stops, and he turns to look at her, expression a little surprised momentarily as his emotions swirl somewhere in that deep emptiness into a mix of things. a little confusion, a little recognition, something quietly sad. he takes a deep breath. ]
... Sure. [ mm. ] You would have to speak to the others if you wanted any other details - we weren't together the entire time.
[ that's not the point, and he knows it, but still. ]
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[this is such a butthole thing to say but she's not really into lying, so. her loyalties are probably pretty clear in general. she settles where she is, not moving her hand. if he asked her to stop she would, but this makes her feel a little better about him being safe.]
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he laughs a little. ]
I was very, very lucky Gerard was there.
[ because when that woman started choking him, fei du could have died, because he was so far out of his body that he was just letting it happen. the traumatic flashback had been too much - old memories that were hidden and buried that he dug out with a rusty knife now present themselves to the front of his psyche.
he doesn't let himself linger on it in the moment, though, and jokes, quietly: ] Even if he left me to lift a grandfather clock by myself.
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He is brave sometimes. [a pause.] You lifted a grandfather clock by yourself?
[jesus just dunk on both of them at the same time shenhe chill out]
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[ he isn't even going to fight that ]
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[ he's too clever to just hulk it out. who is he, luo wenzhou? her little heh gets him to smile a bit, too, more naturally. ]
There was a crushed egg, inside. [ but, that natural smile - it starts to fade, there. ]
I suppose there was one other thing. [ and after a moment, he feels around in his pockets, and pulls out a small handful of what appears to be egg shells. or - at least, the pieces of one. one that must have been shattered almost beyond recognition, because those pieces go back into his pocket.
the other one, though, just has one crack in it. broken, but not destroyed, and it's painted! it's painted with a little face. the crack goes through it, but it doesn't ruin the effect - the cutely painted face looks a lot like this guy. fei du's voidlike emotions change a little, when he does - they soften, around the edges, almost automatically. ] We ended up in a field on our way to the house full of eggs. Some of them were broken, and some weren't. I picked this one up because I recognized it.
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shenhe tilts her head to look at the one with the face on it, curious.]
Who is it?
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but, he turns the egg a little bit, looking at the painted surface; the bloom of affection in his emotions, though muted, is present, underlaced with something quietly sad. ] My ge. Luo Wenzhou's police partner, Tao Ran. After my mother passed away, he looked after me when my father wasn't around.
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That was kind of him. [silence, as she sort of enjoys that bloom of affection. even if it is sad, it's nice to feel.]
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[ his taotao. it's part of what makes the cracked egg so sad - he runs his thumb over the top of it, gently. ]
He was just hurt fairly badly, and was in the hospital.
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Will he be alright? [or was it one of those things where he doesn't know and now he's. here, with no way of knowing. jesus, imagine people knew they were dead.]
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[ there's a quiet huff of a laugh, and then... he falls silent, staring down at the egg. ]
I thought he died, and it was one of the scariest moments of my life, to be candid.
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[which is... true, she doesn't think she's ever lost anybody that she cared about to that extent. smashcut to friday where i hope i don't eat my words.]
If he was alright and stubborn enough to want to work, I think it's likely he has enough spirit to do anything. [...] How did he get injured in the first place?
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the corner of his mouth lifts, but it's a bitter smile. there's no emotions again - whatever was left swirls together into something sardonic and - and angry, though it's very, very muted. ]
...A car accident.
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Hm. [she looks at him for a second.] I'm guessing this is going to be one of those situations where you warn me not to ask you further questions by saying my name sternly.
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a little warily; ]
...It depends on what you're going to ask.
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I think you've been through enough, today. [so she won't ask. today.]
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It has been a very, very long day. [ ... ] Would you like to stay together again, tonight?
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I'd like to bring Nahri with me. I don't like leaving her alone.
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I'm fond of her myself. We had an excellent conversation about psychology this week. Maybe she'll read me a story, or is that for you only...?
[ Is this really the time to tease about that. ]
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I'm sure she would be willing, seeing as you are an overgrown child. [there's affection in that, though.]
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