[ he doesn't have to say why, right? not after the weekend. after he was willing to tell shenhe how terrified he was of hurting someone, and how when he almost did, when he chose not to, she took his hand and helped calm him back down. it was when he needed, when things almost went horrifically wrong. at his worst, when he almost snapped, she was right there. ]
That's what friends are for. [ real ones. ] Maybe I'll grow out my hair and take your mantra with me.
You would look nice with long hair, I think. [she's teasing just a little, but.] You can take it with you. I want you to remember me as a monster who decided that everybody was worth saving.
[ a monster, huh. he makes a soft noise, a huff, and tilts his head enough to very gently bonk it against shenhe, like a cat. ]
I don't think I'll remember you quite that way. [ he can't. not really. not with everything she's done for him, and not with the similarities between them. maybe if fei du won't call shenhe a monster, he won't call himself one, either. ]
A Divine Damsel of... hmm. Of Defense, maybe. Maybe you'll remember me as an abyss, but at least one that was fun to look back into.
You were my bodyguard, weren't you? [ this is a joke, but.
when fei du smiles this time, eyes closed, it's genuine. ]
...I'd like that.
[ friends.
the funny thing is that little piggy hasn't quite disappeared yet - it's still rooting around in the corner of the room, and this time, it projects one of fei du's memories. ]
a key suspect in the zhao murder case is on the run - zheng kaifeng, right hand to the zhao family. the yan city police bureau lost him, as he'd hired someone to take his place, and you're not really surprised. that's the sort of slippery business that those people always are able to pull off. with money, anything is possible, and without morals, those possibilities multiply.
still, you've been working with the police on every case so far, so it's not surprising that you're involved in this one, too. luo wenzhou claps you on the shoulder and steers you out to the parking lot in a hurry, to your enormous SUV - the one you recently got upgraded, with bulletproof glass and siding, considering the amount of unfortunate car chases you've found yourself involved in lately - and the two of you hop in and immediately start to join in the chase. instinctively, you check for listening devices. there are none.
zheng kaifeng's flight is likely only because of a mole in the city bureau police. you comment lightly to wenzhou that the most likely suspect is you, because... isn't it always? logically. you're the outsider. you only came to aid the police bureau after this started, you're familiar with the zhou family and with zheng kaifeng, but luo wenzhou cuts you off, insults you by calling you solitary - which isn't untrue, but it ruffles your feathers that he can read you so easily - and then drops a line about being attractive. you flirt back, almost automatically, pushing the gas, and the two of you debate the reliability of you as a suspect in this case for a little longer before wenzhou gets tired of it, and says:
"Fei Du, if I didn't have a reason, didn't have any logic, if I'd only said 'I trust you', what would you have done?"
something about that resonates.
no one, not a single person around your sphere is trustworthy. every single scion, every single corporate head, every single ceo in yan city is intimately tied to the darkest underbelly of humanity, and you've spent every year of your life cautious and guarded. but luo wenzhou, untouched by that, just utterly human, gives you his trust without even blinking.
you drop a remark, unable to help yourself, making a joke about proposing to him because you're so moved, and wenzhou cuts you off immediately, rerouting your attempt to make yourself look bad without even blinking, reminds you of your relationship with an elderly woman whose life you saved barely a few weeks ago. she trusted you. she didn't even know me, you think. wenzhou cuts that off, too.
"I've known you over seven years. I think I can be counted as understanding you. I also choose to trust you. Of course, if you let me down one day, I'll be very hurt, so hurt I may not love you anymore."
something presses against your chest, warm and hot and unknown, and you find yourself at a loss for words.
--
as you discuss the case with wenzhou, you end up following a very strange truck. the way it moves is odd - circling the hotel you drove to in search of zheng kaifeng and his underling, yang bo, and then slowly rolling down to the underground parking garage. there's a not small possibility that zheng is in that truck; the two of you follow it, sneaking into the garage in your civilian vehicle. other police block the entrance and exit out of the parking lot, and the truck shrieks as the drivers floor the gas pedal in an attempt to get out. wenzhou shouts, Block the truck!, and you, reflexively, say yes, sir and floor it.
your SUV swings around like its turning on a dime and fearlessly, you drive directly towards the truck - it moves, enough that it narrowly avoids you coming straight at it, but you whip the car around and ram it directly into the side of the truck, crowding it towards the garage wall. the container in the back bangs open and a young man climbs out - yang bo - along with several hired thugs. you're choking a little, held in place by your seatbelt from the accident but otherwise unharmed, unruffled by the adrenaline, and wenzhou pats you on the arm and then leaps out of the SUV, fully in police mode. the rest of the cops approach and surround the truck, and sure enough, you can see zhang kaifeng sitting calmly inside of the container, in a leather chair.
you also get out of the car, stumbling, pushing the door open. being choked always makes you dizzier than it should, makes you remember, and you have to grab onto the reinforced edge of the hood of your car and cough.
as you're looking down and coughing, though, you spot something.
there's a weak, small, red flashing light underneath the truck. you can see it reflecting off of luo wenzhou's pant leg, as he tells zheng kaifeng to get out of the truck. the light blinks faster. faster.
you realize what it is.
in your basal instincts, you make a split second decision.
(i also choose to trust you.)
you throw yourself forward with all the strength you have, throw an arm around luo wenzhou's waist, and yank him backwards. he's got a healing injury still, and it means that even your strength is enough to stop him. you throw luo wenzhou behind you and shove him inside of your reinforced, military grade SUV, grab the handle for the car door and then -
there's a loud sound like paper ripping and an explosion and a bright, hot pain - your arm feels like it shatters, your shoulder, pain, agonizing pain and fire and -
[ooooogh she wants to hit him!! she doesn't. but she wants to.
the emotion-thought-share is like a blender mix of what the fuck and that was kind of sweet and well it's not like i wouldn't also do that but stop getting BLOWN UP and she can't form words, so she just gives him a Look.]
but it's not that bad. it could be worse? at least it was him getting blown up. like god intended.
he wisely does not look at shenhe when she starts Looking at him. im gonna assume shenhe the duck is nearby so he takes this convenient time to pet her on the head. ]
...I woke up in the intensive care unit. I don't really remember anything that happened before that, but I went under surgery at some point. I vaguely remember that I was dreaming, and I distinctly remember seeing a light and choosing not to go into it.
[ sometimes you die twice on the operating table ]
I was in recovery for a month and half or so afterwards. It took a while before I could even talk, but I recovered fully. Wenzhou... I think he broke his leg? I don't remember, really, you'd have to ask him.
he has also heard enough actually the last thing he wants to think about is wenzhou being blown up. even if he protected him from it the first time.
as for the rest... there's a little smile, wry. ] You make me sound like a baby bird trying to leave the nest. I've been alive for twenty-two years, you know, and with the exception of this place, I've stayed that way. Any brushes with death have for the most part been extremely coincidental.
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[ he doesn't have to say why, right? not after the weekend. after he was willing to tell shenhe how terrified he was of hurting someone, and how when he almost did, when he chose not to, she took his hand and helped calm him back down. it was when he needed, when things almost went horrifically wrong. at his worst, when he almost snapped, she was right there. ]
That's what friends are for. [ real ones. ] Maybe I'll grow out my hair and take your mantra with me.
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You would look nice with long hair, I think. [she's teasing just a little, but.] You can take it with you. I want you to remember me as a monster who decided that everybody was worth saving.
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I don't think I'll remember you quite that way. [ he can't. not really. not with everything she's done for him, and not with the similarities between them. maybe if fei du won't call shenhe a monster, he won't call himself one, either. ]
A Divine Damsel of... hmm. Of Defense, maybe. Maybe you'll remember me as an abyss, but at least one that was fun to look back into.
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Defense. [she repeats, amused.] I won't think of you an abyss, either.
Perhaps we just remember each other as friends.
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when fei du smiles this time, eyes closed, it's genuine. ]
...I'd like that.
[ friends.
the funny thing is that little piggy hasn't quite disappeared yet - it's still rooting around in the corner of the room, and this time, it projects one of fei du's memories. ]
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the emotion-thought-share is like a blender mix of what the fuck and that was kind of sweet and well it's not like i wouldn't also do that but stop getting BLOWN UP and she can't form words, so she just gives him a Look.]
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you know
but it's not that bad. it could be worse? at least it was him getting blown up. like god intended.
he wisely does not look at shenhe when she starts Looking at him. im gonna assume shenhe the duck is nearby so he takes this convenient time to pet her on the head. ]
I didn't die.
[
for the record. ]
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This is not reassuring. Stop trying to die. [he was saving wenzhou but also stop trying to die]
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[ shenhe is so mean! (duck) (person) but he probably deserves this?? ] All of you people seem to think I enjoy being in pain. I really, really don't.
[ coming from the guy who electrocutes himself this is pretty rich but it is in fact true ] The goal of that was for both of us not to die.
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You could have fooled me. [she grouches, leaning over to pull shenhe the duck off of his hand.] What happened after?
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...I woke up in the intensive care unit. I don't really remember anything that happened before that, but I went under surgery at some point. I vaguely remember that I was dreaming, and I distinctly remember seeing a light and choosing not to go into it.
[ sometimes you die twice on the operating table ]
I was in recovery for a month and half or so afterwards. It took a while before I could even talk, but I recovered fully. Wenzhou... I think he broke his leg? I don't remember, really, you'd have to ask him.
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anyway she hates to hear all of this but. at least he's not dead. well, no, he is, but like, he didn't die then.]
I think I have heard enough. [she says, dryly.] ... I don't know what you're going to do without me watching you.
[he'll be fine. but - this is her way of fretting. of caring.]
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he has also heard enough actually the last thing he wants to think about is wenzhou being blown up. even if he protected him from it the first time.
as for the rest... there's a little smile, wry. ] You make me sound like a baby bird trying to leave the nest. I've been alive for twenty-two years, you know, and with the exception of this place, I've stayed that way. Any brushes with death have for the most part been extremely coincidental.
I'll be fine. [
probably. ]
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instead of words, she just slides closer and hugs him. that says more than her words can, she thinks.]