[she's - trying, very very hard, to not lose it, because she's been a void for hours now, she's been a nuisance all week. she's trying so hard to keep it together for kaveh, because he has been nothing but kind to her and she wants to return the favor.
but rang was so afraid of being abandoned makes all of her carefully arranged emotions tilt and fall to the left, and there's this sensation of burning eyes and a tight throat, and the urge to cry.
she can't. she doesn't know how, but it's there, the grief crawling up her throat and threatening to break free.]
I know. [it's what they'd bonded over.] He told me something, the first week we were here, and I've kept it since then.
Because of that, I defended him, when people assumed he killed Rin. I've never regretted that.
[It's hard to tell whose pain belongs to who, really. Kaveh doesn't know the details of Shenhe's life, only has bits and pieces of a dream world that may or may not have been built from her memories. He has no way to know what exactly she's been through without asking, and there's never been a good moment for something like that.
He doesn't know what's holding her back, and he doesn't really know that there's reason to ask. But he can shed enough tears for the both of them, and it's likely he will before they leave this room.]
No. [Softly.] He wasn't.
[Kaveh never hesitated to make his feelings clear. He'd clashed openly and unabashedly with Rang plenty of times, yelled at him, lashed out--any number of things. But he hadn't really thought Rang killed Rin. He'd seen that, no matter what Rang said, Rang tried to look out for his team. He'd never been afraid, even knowing Rang likely would have killed eventually. And he'd never wanted Rang to die. That was the entire point.
He draws in a shaky breath.]
He didn't want to be forgotten. [It's not what Rang had said, but it's what he'd meant.] I told him I'd build him something.
[And yes, he'd known that Rang wouldn't be around to see it--but he'd still thought there would be time to do... something. To tell him he hadn't changed his mind in the daylight.
They went into this knowing that Matsui wouldn't make it, and that, most likely, he'd take Rang with him. But it feels like they've been robbed of so much, even so.]
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but rang was so afraid of being abandoned makes all of her carefully arranged emotions tilt and fall to the left, and there's this sensation of burning eyes and a tight throat, and the urge to cry.
she can't. she doesn't know how, but it's there, the grief crawling up her throat and threatening to break free.]
I know. [it's what they'd bonded over.] He told me something, the first week we were here, and I've kept it since then.
Because of that, I defended him, when people assumed he killed Rin. I've never regretted that.
[she holds his hands, still.]
He was not as inhuman as he thought.
[she wants to cry. she wishes she could cry.]
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He doesn't know what's holding her back, and he doesn't really know that there's reason to ask. But he can shed enough tears for the both of them, and it's likely he will before they leave this room.]
No. [Softly.] He wasn't.
[Kaveh never hesitated to make his feelings clear. He'd clashed openly and unabashedly with Rang plenty of times, yelled at him, lashed out--any number of things. But he hadn't really thought Rang killed Rin. He'd seen that, no matter what Rang said, Rang tried to look out for his team. He'd never been afraid, even knowing Rang likely would have killed eventually. And he'd never wanted Rang to die. That was the entire point.
He draws in a shaky breath.]
He didn't want to be forgotten. [It's not what Rang had said, but it's what he'd meant.] I told him I'd build him something.
[And yes, he'd known that Rang wouldn't be around to see it--but he'd still thought there would be time to do... something. To tell him he hadn't changed his mind in the daylight.
They went into this knowing that Matsui wouldn't make it, and that, most likely, he'd take Rang with him. But it feels like they've been robbed of so much, even so.]
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she exhales out slow, watching him.]
I'd like to help. If you'll have me.
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I'll see what I can do.